Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.



Well my Aunt Bev got here on Wednesday and my Aunt Pat got here Thursday. G'pa seemed to be getting stronger the next day, but still very weak. We took him to the doctor on Friday, but they couldn't do much for him except suggesting physical therapy. Today he is almost back to were he was...he went out to do some chores on his four-wheeler...he still needs to use his walker though.

On Saturday I went to Mitchell so's about an hour drive away. My cousins were gonna come, but they had a cheer competition at a different city. I had a really good day. Got a latte! woohoo!!! And I went to see Eagle Eye...I really liked that movie. I was gone the whole day and home in time for dinner. I was able to drive my car which i haven't since I got was a nice day so I blasted the radio and had the windows and the sun roof open going 75 down I-90!!!

My Aunt Pat left on Sunday after church and the afternoon was restful. My Aunt Bev will be here until Oct 15 when my cousin graduates from the navy school...then she will come back.

We have 5 apples trees that are overloaded this we've been making lots of apple stuff. I just threw an apple crisp in the oven. Tomorrow I might try my hand at some applesauce and can it!

I took out the blanket I was knitting cause the pattern was to difficult and my Aunt Pat helped me start on a different pattern and crocheting has been coming along.

Today has been laundry day so I've been hanging clothes out on the line to dry, I really like doing that, and it is a fairly nice day.

Last night me and Aunt Bev went on a walk out west, we talked about maybe getting a horse...I'm so glad she is here! Ended the evening with a glass of wine! ;-)


God always paints me a sunset...

My G'pa is so weak he can't turn to his side without help. My aunt will be here in two hours. I know that God is near me even when I am overwhelmed. He is with me even when I feel alone. He is my strength and peace. In Christ alone my hope is found; He is my light, my strength, my song; This cornerstone, this solid ground, firm through the fiercest drought and storm. What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled when striving cease! My comforter, my all in all- Here in the love of Christ I stand.


Life's Trail

I love to walk the winding, hidden trail
among the tall mountains,
to breathe the air sprinkled with cottonwood seeds
floating, dancing, in the wind.
The trail in certain places is narrow, full of sharp rocks
the cliff it follows goes down
to the foamy river of danger.
Around the next turn I hesitate
this path, like the life I live,
has unsure shadows among the trees
bright sun-colored patches that light up the forest floor
a speckled meadow of wildflowers.
How I love to walk this trail.
I come to the end and continue on.


Cracked Ribs, Thunderstorm, and a Friend

Well the last couple of days have been kinda busy. Thursday night G'pa and I went out on a four-wheel ride. The four-wheeler is like on of those gators, with a bench seat and steering wheel. It was dusk and my G'pa was driving...anyways we were out in the field and there was this ditch over grown with tall grass. Well we ran right into it...and went forward hard, I was holding my camera and dropped it and scrapped up my knees and wrist, but G'pa hit his left side of his chest on the steering wheel.

I went out looking for my camera several times and I didn't think I was gonna find it cause the grass was super tall, but I finally found it Friday night! G'pa was in pain, but there wasn't any bruising.

On Saturday he seemed to be worse so I took him to the ER... 3 hours later, they had x-rayed and did a c-scan. Everything was okay internally. But he probably has a couple cracked ribs which will most likely give him pain for 4 to 6 weeks. It really hard to see him like this. He still hasn't gained weight since coming home from the hospital he actually lost over 15 pounds!

Yesterday we didn't go to church, G'pa wasn't gonna go and G'ma didn't want to leave him alone. That afternoon there was the most amazing thunderstorm! Like super loud and pouring rain! It was awesome!

Before lunch yesterday we had a visitor...the neighbor's hired hand come over to ask G'pa if he could bow hunt around the farm. He had just come from church and he presented himself so well and seemed very gracious towards me grandparents. Anyways, he came back that night to scope out the land, and set up a few deer stands. His name is Brian and he is from Missouri, and just finished college. He started working for the Havliks in January.

Whats on the agenda today! Well, got to do Mondays chores, which is cleaning the floors! And have to do something with all our apples! G'ma gave me this recipe for apple bars...and I'll probably make another pie for the freezer!

My Aunt Pat is coming to visit within the week! I'm so excited to see her. She will help me with that blanket I'm knitting for G'pa. I might go a day to shop with my cousins while she is here too!


I love playing this song on the piano! I miss playing the piano :(
This is a good video though!


G'pa is HOME!!!

G'pa was going to come home yesterday, but he had a bad night he was finally able to come home today!

G'ma and I had a good time at home for a few days while G'pa was in the hospital, but I extremely missed him! We saw him Saturday but did go again to see him until today when we picked him up! I talked to him on the phone everyday. He said he didn't want to be a burden when he got home. I kept telling him he wouldn't be.

Yesterday was a little hard for me. Stayed home the whole day and didn't have much i had to do, but I wrote some letters and talked to people back home. I think yesterday was actually the first time I had to myself so I began missing people and home a little. Also, thinking...I only have to be here for one more month then I can go home if I want because my Aunt Bev is moving here. I know that God wants me here right now, and i have been praying about staying all winter. Just have to see what His will is for me. I do want to take a trip to Indiana to see Marika maybe once my Aunt gets here!

So...we left this morning because G'ma had a doctors appointment and she needed to get some lab work done before. After that we went to lunch and her appointment and went to the hospital to get G'pa. He was all dressed, ready, and waiting in the chair in his room when we got there! I hadn't seen him since Saturday and I could tell he looked different. He had lost 10 pounds of the course of a couple days of being in the hosptial. The nurse gave me his medication list and we drove home.

G'ma and G'pa were both wore out. I got G'pa's pills in order then made supper. G'pa doesn't seem his self. he is just tired and said he is weak and feels poorly. He went to bed an hour earlier then usual. G'ma is getting ready for bed now.

I went outside for awhile to practice my guitar....have to break in those calluses again it's been a few months!


Be Still My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side. Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; leave to your God to order and provide; in every change God faithful will remain. Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Be still, my soul: your God will undertake to guide the future, as in ages past. Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake; all now mysterious shall be bright at last. Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know the Christ who ruled them while he dwelt below.
Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on when we shall be forever with the Lord, when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone, sorrow for forgot, love's purest joys restored. Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past, all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

G'pa is in the hospital

I was to tired to post yesterday...but g'pa had a bad night and none of us got much rest and Friday night me and G'ma went to a Pork Feed and it was fun!

That night G'pa didn't have a good night at all. He moved out into the living room to sleep in his chair cause he couldn't breathe very well lying down. I moved his O2 tank out and then went to bed I didn't really get to sleep. I heard G'pa coughing most of the night and almost 5 in the morning I was wide awake and heard G'ma talking to G'pa and heard hospital and ambulance...quickly I stumbled down the stairs to find G'pa having difficulty breathing and moaning. He didn't look good at all. I called 911 and the ambulance arrived 30 minutes later to take him to the hospital.

Me and G'ma went back to bed. It took me a good hour to get to sleep when I did I had a dream that g'pa died. Didn't sleep at all after that.

The hospital called at 9am to say they admitted G'pa for heart failure. G'ma and I left around noon and spent the afternoon with G'pa. He seemed to be doing better and the nurse said he was okay.

Did a few errands before driving back to the farm. G'ma is pretty tired. I went on a walk to think and pray and give all my worry to God. He is my fortress and strength and ever-present help in time of trouble.


Long, tiring day

My day was okay, but I think I'll have a good cry before I go to bed. I was startled awake by G'pa calling out at 6am this morning he was having difficulty breathing. I got my dad and he called the ER doctor who said if it worsened to bring him in. G'ma had an appointment later that morning so we were gonna have G'pa check out then.

After G'ma's appointment, they had a meeting with the lawyer. I slept in the car. Then they got out just in time for us to take dad to the bus and see him off. I had a hard time keeping my emotions under control after that the whole day. But I wasn't about to lose it then.

Took G'pa to the doctor and after waiting testing and waiting we left 2.5 hours felt longer then that. G'pa has bronchitis, where the lungs become inflamed from infection. And also congestive heart failure...but his heart has never been the same since his heart attack 13 years ago.

His legs were weak and it sounded like he was trying to catch his breath the whole day. We have an antibiotic and he seemed better once we got home.

I found myself praying alot today for alot of things. Why is it that when faced with trials we always turn to God for comfort, while when things are going fine we don't seem to give him a second thought?

Putting G'pa to bed tonight I asked if I could pray for him and he said that wound be nice. So I did.

I am going to sleep now, I'm to tired to cry. Thank you for your continuing prayers, I feel God is near and felt a peace after leaving the doctor.



Today was a quiet day. I think it was the first day since I got here that we didn't go anywhere! It has also been a full week since I have been here and I have so much to be thankful for!

Dad and G'pa were outside mostly doing odd jobs around the place. G'pa was out on the four-wheeler alot too! He seems to be doing better. G'ma said she didn't feel herself and blames them on the pills she has to take now since getting back from the hospital.

The day seemed to go by slowly until I started making supper...roasted tomato soup (and I must say it was very good!) Just before supper on of the neighbor came by. A very nice elderly bachelor wearing overalls. His name is Edgar and when I was introduced to him he said "pretty girl" and told my G'ma she had nice grandchildren!

He stayed for supper and when i served dessert, apple pie, he wonder why he got no cheese with it..."apple pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze" He said his momma always ate her pie like that and that what she always said. As you can tell he is quite and interesting character and it was a good evening. G'pa always seems better when people come to visit.

After supper Leanna Havlik stopped by cause her husband had been vaccinating calfs by the barn ( the Havliks are the people who lease G'pa's land). Had a short visit with her.

Before bed G'ma had me set her hair in curlers. She told me that when I was little and she came out of the bathroom with a towel on her head after washing her hair...I put one on my head and walked around declaring that I was G'ma (I don't remember that!) Lol!

I do remember G'ma setting my hair in curlers when I was younger...and now I do it for her.

It is hard to imagine a week gone by already. I am happy G'ma is okay. She always reads her bible in the rocking chair before she goes to bed...I am to learn alot from her!


Grandma is home!!!

We headed to Mitchell this morning. One of G'pa's appointments was changed to today so we left early.

G'pa's doctor for this appointment was a 60-year-old very BIG man who grew up in Boston so he totally had the accent! It was cool!
G'ma was able to come home today so I am so glad everything is all right. I praise God and thank everyone for their prayers!
After supper I took Ellie on another four-wheeler run...

The Outhouse ;-)


Root Beer Floats and Needles

Today I overslept and woke up with a sore throat! Blah! Dad let the cat, Fuzzy, in to wake me up. She started licking my face...that got me up. She is a crazy cat, and I mean crazy. She'll claw your leg when your walking and try biting your hand when you pet her. She is no mean...just extremely playful!

I started cleaning up after breakfast and learned we were going to Chamberlain for one of G'pa's tests and to run a few other errands. Made G'pa a fried egg sandwich for dinner and we were off!

All went well and we took the back roads home. G'pa pointed out a farm to me and told me awhile ago that the guy that lived their was getting on in his years so he order a mail-order bride! I didn't know they still did that! I guess it went well cause the have a few kids! Lol.

When we got home G'pa had a root beer float...I guess it was a whole soda which he should only have half for his diabetes.

I began planning supper and went on a walk...relaxed on the hay bales for half an hour, picked some apples for a pie tonight, and some flowers for a vase on the window sill! :)

Just was warming up some leftover casserole for supper when G'pa took his blood sugar and it was high! Of course from that ice cream and root beer! So I got to give him and insulin shot for the first time. It went okay...had quite a time getting the air bubbles out and G'pa said he was more trouble then he was worth! Haha, I told him he wasn't then gave him the shot!

He is watching a football game now. I'm gonna finish my pie. Tomorrow we go to Mitchell to bring G'ma home!


First Sunday

I didn't want to get up today. I was tired! But I! We went to church. It was different for me. Not what I am used to at all. It is a Methodist church I think with a woman preacher.

After services we went to Ditty's Diner...I learned that it is a tradition every Sunday. I think that most of the congregation was there! Lol! It was fun I had a good time! It was great to talk with G'ma and G'pa's friends!

Afterwards we went on a drive around the country. And G'pa showed me some old farms. It amazes me how everyone knows most everybody and what has become of them!

We got home and I slept for the better part of the afternoon. Dad and G'pa watch a football game on TV.

Then drove to the hospital to visit G'ma for awhile. Got home a little late so just warmed up some leftovers for supper.


A somewhat busy day...

Today my dad left early for Mitchell to visit G'ma at the hospital. I was woken up by G'pa...he had the TV too loud! lol!

I had a very good morning! Ate breakfast and then spent awhile having my quiet time with God. I haven't been able to since we got here so it was very refreshing and encouraging. Gave me more energy.

The rest of the morning I took inventory of the food in the freezers. The one in the cellar is huge and old. I remember as a little girl being scared of the is a creepy place. Lots of cobwebs! I was fine now though! Went looking back at all my G'ma's canned food she still has some down there from before I was born!!! Next I did the inventory upstairs freezer. Then it was dinner time. I just warmed up leftovers cause it was just G'pa and me.

He sat in his easy chair most of the day. It was rainy and drizzling so it was kinda gloomy...G'pa doesn't like the lights on in the living room.

After dinner I began making supper just so it would be ready. As soon as my dad got home I was going to see my Aunts and cousins in Platte...40 minute drive away.

They doctors found out that it was a blood clot that cut of the circulation to her kidney. She will be home Monday or Tuesday! Praise God!

After having supper ready to just pop in the oven. I did a few chores then sat down to knit the blanket...I kinda got stuck...those patterns are hard to understand. I think I will wait until my Aunt Pat gets here. She'll be visiting in a month I think and she is a pro knitter.

After I gave up on knitting I tried not to fall asleep, but did for about 45 minutes. I guess during that time G'pa feed the cats and got the mail. I woke up and it was time for me to go. My dad got back so I was good to leave.

My Subaru didn't do so good on these gravel country roads, but its getting better, I can at least hit 60mph now.

I had a good evening having supper with my G'pa and G'ma Surat, aunts, uncles,and cousins. Then my cousins in highschool I watched play tag football!

Got home and dad had G'pa Young in bed and all was well. I set his coffee up for the morning and now it's time for me to hit the hay!


I love my grandpa

I woke up today at 9...G'pa had an appointment an attorney about the farm. So we left soon after...It is gonna be different having to leave an hour before an appointment because it takes forever to drive anywhere!

G'pa's hip bothers him so he always needs a back rub before bed. This morning he said i gave him a good one cause he didn't feel pain at all and was telling everyone too. :)

The time with the lawyer was interesting...there are alot of little towns around here that have old buildings that make up downtown. This lawyers office was one of these old buildings. With the simple title "Law Office" above the door. It was pretty old fashioned inside. My dad and the attorney talked about legal stuff and the farm. Me and G'pa quietly listened. When G'pa did talk he said that he was praying to God to let him die! He was no use anymore. I can see why he would feel that way...after being a farmer with so much to do to doing nothing. But I don't like it when he says that. It upsets me too much and I had quite a time controlling my tears! I just don't know what to say and i pray God will give the words to be encouraging.

They talked about other alternatives for care in the winter, because driving to the doctor in a blizzard would take a long time. G'pa said he views a nursing home as a place to die and that him and G'ma want to stay on the farm as long as possible! This made me feel that I want to stay with them as long as possible.

We then went to dinner at this espresso is a really cool place, i love it! Then went to the hospital for a few hours to see G'ma. See is doing better but the doctors are keeping her longer for more testing. I suppose it's for the best.

Drove home then it was time to make supper. G'pa says I am a good cook. I am glad to be able and practice!

After supper me and G'pa went on the four-wheeler to get corn and put out for the wild turkeys...he said there was 6 in the yard this morning. Drove around the field and scared a flock of pheasant, took out the garbage, and then took the Thule and my now tires out of my Subaru. I let G'pa help as much as he could. It wore him out though.

Had a nice rest of the evening working on knitting my blanket ( I kept Fuzzy outside so she wouldn't mess it up). I'm using hunter green and a lighter green. I think G'pa wants it when I am done cause he asked who it was for and I said i didn't know yet and he said that he could use it to keep him warm once it gets colder. So I guess it is his when I'm done!


G'ma is still in the hospital

Well, today seemed busy. After nine hours of lovely sleep the cat, Fuzzy, jumped on me and woke me up. The morning went slowly just had breakfast and got ready to go to the hospital. We took two cars because my aunt was going to go home after who found out how G’ma was doing. It is about an hour and a half drive to Mitchell where the hospital is. My dad and me found a suhweet espresso shop and I probably will be going there when I can!

G’pa took us to dinner again then him and my aunt went to the hospital. My dad and me went to meet up with my G’pa and G’ma Surat. That was fun! My G’pa Surat has got about 5,000 acres of land and six semi-trucks...maybe I'll get to drive one ;-)

Then went to see G'ma Young at the hospital. She seemed to be doing okay. hopefully the testing will get done so she can come home tomorrow. My aunt went home to MO. G'pa, my dad, and me then drove home.

I fed the animals and made supper.

I went out with the four-wheeler and took Ellie (the dog) for a run. I came upon a lot of pheasants...they are populated more then usual this year I guess. Not for long cause hunting season is in October!

Then me and G'pa Young watched The Cowboys with John Wayne..woohoo! My G'pa Surat really reminds me of John Wayne...he is so big, and his voice, and the big bear hugs that squeeze the life outta me!!! lol.

I bought a bunch of yarn today and am going to attempt to knit a blanket. That's hard with Fuzzy continuously grabbing my yarn!

First Day

Decided to keep this blog and write on it. I wrote this yesterday...

Well after a 20 hour drive I arrived at my grandparents farm this morning. The drive felt like it went pretty fast. When I pulled up to my Grandparents front door, I ran inside and hugged them both. It felt so good to see them. Grandpa had lost more weight since I had seen him last which was Christmas. Both looked like they had aged alot on the last 9 months.

I was shown my room for the time I would be staying and began making more comfortable.My Aunt made us dinner and my dad, grandpa and her sat down to eat, but grandma wasn't feeling well. She had stomach pain since the morning. After lunch my dad, my aunt, and me were in the kitchen when grandpa called us in and said grandma needed to be taken to the doctors. So my dad took her and we stayed home.

I went and took a nap, I was so tired. When I woke up it was supper time and my dad and grandma still weren't home. Grandpa said he was going to take us out for supper so we didn't make anything.

At the restaurant we got cheeseburgers and my dad began sending my messages on how grandma was doing. That's when grandpa said if he ever got that sick he hoped he would die. I pretty much started crying and asked him why and he said that there was no reason for him to stay. I told him yes, I needed him!

It turns out my grandma has circulation cut off from one of her kidneys so 50% of it is dead and that was causing pain. She will stay in the hospital tonight and should be alright, I pray.

Back at home (I will refer to the farm as home now since it will be for me until further notice) grandpa sat in his chair, which I learn occupies most of his time. My aunt then began showing me all I was to do...Prepare 3 meals a day, make sure grandpa takes all his medication, check his weight and if he is gaining be warry of fluid build-up in his lungs and check blood sugar and give insulin if needed, do daily chores, feed cats and dog, make sure both grandma and grandpa exercise, make 3 shakes for my night make sure all his pills are taken, set him on his oxygen, and rub his back and grandma's legs.

This along with taking them to doctors appointments, and checking his heart monitor, and changing the oxygen filter, etc.

This first day might have been overwhelming for some, but I feel a great peace and tremendous love for my grandparents. I want to be an encouragement to my grandpa especially...he is always making comment about dying and how I am taking care of him...I hope he can see I am truly happy to be here, because I am!

Right now I am in my room drinking tea and being very tired. Both my grandparents pretty much go to bed around 9pm and wake up at 8am. After my aunt leaves tomorrow and my dad next week I will be alone...please pray for me!
Will write more later...goodnight!