Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.


Jim Morrison quote

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.


at this time last year....

How quickly a year flies by...hmm. At this time last year, I was in South this time last year, on this day, I took Grandpa to the this time last year, this coming Tuesday, Grandpa went to the nursing this time last year, on Friday, me and Grandma drove grandpa to the doctor, back to the nursing home, then went home....and got the call the he wasn't on this Earth this time last year, this coming weekend and week....I think I felt almost every emotion....sadness, happiness, hurt, anger, joy, played the 'if only' game, and placed blame. Grandpa is in no more pain now. Why do I keep getting sad? Why do I keep wishing I had more time? Why am I blaming myself...if only I would of taken better care of him, just had taken him home with me, so he could of died on the farm instead of in some stuffy, smelly nursing home room...all alone...but God is Sovereign....God is Sovereign....God is Sovereign....and I will keep telling myself this until I don't  hurt anymore.....


If all I had was Jesus

The message on Sunday was Spirit-filled and thought-provoking...How Then Shall We Live 2nd Peter 3:11-13

Thought I would answer some of the questions Josh posed in his sermon. What gives me my identity? Is Christ defining who I am? What does this I identifying who I am in Christ? Jesus says to abide and  remain in Him...and I do this my loving and obeying Him. What one thing in my life is central? Whatever I make sacrifices for and rearrange everything in my life around is what that thing is...I know that I don't do that to spend time with my friend times I think I put myself as central...I'd rather sleep or watch a movie instead of talk to my Savior...I'd rather spend time on myself and my life then read the Word God has given me. This isn't my life though, why do I stoop to satisfying myself with temporary pleasures? OKay so this one really got to me, but I confidently can answer it...Would I be happy in heaven if Jesus wasn't there? It seems absurd to even ask this...but think about it, why would we need Jesus if in Heaven we will be completely more hurting and pain, but uncanny happiness in glorious pleasure with the ones we love! I wouldn't be happy if my Savior, my Redeemer, my Friend, my Everything was not there. That is the one thing I long and look forward to! Spending eternity with Him! Come quickly Lord Jesus!


a sudden burst of inspiration

needs some work I just wrote it on a whim ;) so I'm not done with it yet...

The sea-colored toenails disappear
Among the sun-warmed grass.
Nostrils flare at earth-smelled atmosphere
Eyes capture snow-covered mountains.
Sky-temperature wind fingers through hair
Drying salt-tasted tears on cheeks.
Surrounded by melody-filled air
Knees pulled to the life-crowded ground.


Dream: a strongly desired goal or purpose

What is God impressing on my heart? I can feel grows stronger and stronger. At times I feel like I am running out of time until I slow down to think and remember that His timing and His plan is perfect. I hold in my heart a dream, a beautiful dream only I can imagine, a dream only God can fulfill. Times come where I am down, but I still dream. I don't think I know what that dream is, I feel like it's coming to me now...what is it? It is in the secret part of me...when will it happen? Why does it feel so strongly impressed upon me at this it because the more I talk of it out loud the more I feel I can achieve it...but do I even know what it is?