Yep!

So I've been in a struggle this week. Not in a bad way...it has been very good. Just seeking and searching out for my heavenly Father's guidance.
What I have found is still a lingering prayer in my heart and my mind. I am not totally grasping it yet, but here it is...

I think that God is calling me to be satisfied in Him alone.

I know we should all be content to be satisfied in Him alone, but I think that this is to mean something even more for me...is God's plan for me to remain single? Like I said the whole meaning of this statement I have not fully grasped yet. Because I still have a strong desire in my heart to be married and have a family. Maybe it is just telling me that it will be awhile and that He has something else to do for His glory.
I still have my own dream...I just am not sure if it is corresponding with Gods. BUT if God would have me be single...could I live the rest of my life like that? Is it just for a time? I see nothing as of now that is leading me towards marriage. I still desire it. Am I willing to give it up for Him who gave up everything for me. What do I have now to give to God that He has not already given to me?

Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.

I am not worried about it..if I continue to hold to this promise I trust my Lord to keep it :)

Reliv is Cool! Lol

Wow, this is really fun! I listen to a training call for Reliv every week day morning at 8:30 and today they did something different where you would come on the call and share the bullet points of your results from the product and then give you phone number so we could help each other as distributors build a list of stories. (Like almost 500 people end up hearing the call) Well I gave mine and right after the call was over someone called me from a different part of SD to hear more...

...but the coolest thing was this guy from Wyoming called me and we talked for like 10 minutes he wanted to now about more of my results and how long I've been taking it and my parents and grandparents. It was just so neat to be able to share with him and give him hope cuz he has been on it for 3 months. It's just so exciting to connect with people like that...I can't wait for Texas!

Another amazing thing was I had a follow-up call today and had me and my upline connected with my mom and my friend. So South Dakota, California, and Washington. Reliv, Nourishing Our World!!!

Something to sing about...

"Why are you so happy" Gma questioned as she pushed her walker through the kitchen door.

I paused from slicing tomatoes inquiring what she meant.

"Your singing," she replied.

"She always has something to sing about," Gpa informed looking up from sipping his cup of coffee at the table.

Turning back to the tomatoes I laughed, feeling my spirit lift even more in song.

THE 7-UPS

1. Wake Up!!
Decide to have a good day.
"Today is the day the Lord hath made; let us rejoice
and be glad in it." Psalms 118:24

2. Dress Up!!
The best way to dress up is to put on a smile. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at outward appearance; but the Lord looks at the heart." I Samuel 16:7

3. Shut Up!!
Say nice things and learn to listen. God gave us two ears and one mouth, so He must have meant for us to do twice as much listening as
talking.
"He who guards his lips guards his soul." Proverbs 13:3

4. Stand Up!!
For what you believe in. Stand for something or you will fall for anything.
"Let us not be weary in doing good; for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let
us do good..." Galatians 6:9-10

5. Look Up !!
To the Lord.
"I can do everything through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13

6. Reach Up!!
For something higher.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path." Proverbs 3:5-6

7. Lift Up !!
Your Prayers.
"Do not worry about anything; instead PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING." Philippians 4:6

Sunny Dayzzzzz

Yahoo! this is the third day in a row that it has been sunny and 45 degrees outside...and NO WIND!!! which is rare for South Dakota! I've spent a good part of the afternoon each day outside, just walking and praying and reading! It has been sooooooo great! And today I was just thinking about the kind of guy I want...haha! Before I was just like oh he has to love God and the outdoors etc. But since everything that has happened and looking at the Christian brothers closest to me I began to have a picture of what I would like for a husband. And evaluate myself, like what I would need.
Now I have never been truly really super close anyone before...number one would probably be my mom, then my sister and marika. What I define as being truly really super close to someone is kinda what I am looking for in a future spouse...so here is what I came up with.
So, I know what I want now...I think...lol...someone who will try to understand me, and adore me, to see me for who I am or at least strive to. Someone who helps me see my faults so i can be better. Someone who will give advice and just pray with me. Someone who will forgive me and love me no matter what, understanding I will mess up. is there any human out there like that? Someone who will just truly listen and I will feel comfortable sharing my heart with. I know what I want now...

BUT, Can I truly be satisfied in Christ alone? Jesus is all of the above and more...Him I can strive to be closest to. I don't know what my future holds and if I will even ever meet anyone like that at all, but I will cling to my Lord, for he is constant and will never disappoint me.

Moving in May

So...My week has gone great! Sunday after biblestudy brought a whole new headache...lol but a good kind of headache from thinking alot. Just after the study I got into a discussion with a friend and this other guy. It was really good and just too much to type about.
Then Monday I talked to my Aunt Peggy about what being planned about G'ma and G'pa's situation. She asked how long I would be staying (and the thing was after talking with Daniel and Eric on Sunday, driving home I was praying about the very thing of how long God wanted me here. I got the sense all of a sudden that He wanted me to stay the summer...and I was like no, I am going back in the summer!) but I told her in April or May and she said that they have been looking for a place for g'ma and g'pa to move them to a place in town or assistant living or nursing home in May. So I will be coming back in May, unless this is not God's plan. I really don't wanna see g'ma and g'pa put in a place that is depressing and my aunt assured me that they never would do that and they would be put in a good place, I guess I knew that.

SO the week was going good...Until a certain person contacted me on Monday night, then everything that happened a few months ago came flooding back into my mind...I've been trying to block it out, but it keeps haunting me. I don't get it! I don't understand! Why can't these people just leave me alone! I don't even understand how people can even be that way!? It is just incredible, in a crazy, scary almost shocking kind of way!!! So Tuesday was a beautiful day and I went on a long walk and found a spot by the creek and just fell to my knees crying out to God...I tried to pray out my heart, my deepest feelings...just laying myself open to Him who knows my heart and understand me even if I don't understand myself. This time the peace that usually comes after bearing my heart to God didn't come as filling me. I still feel unsettled. And today was not a good day.
I have been repeating Proverbs 3:5-6 over and over in my head to get in my heart...to truly hold on to the promise it gives! It is such a great verse that I feel have taken for granted since I memorized when i was like 6. But it is soooooo true! TRUST in the LORD with all of your HEART! and lean not on your own understanding. in ALL your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will DIRECT your paths. I realize that I may not understand but that is not the point because if I try to do it on my own understanding I'm lost! If I rely and trust Him in everything...EVERYTHING!!! He will direct me, it says it right there in His word!!! WOW! :D :D
I have also started reading a book Courtney gave me for Christmas, White as Snow...meditations on sin and mercy by Paul David Tripp. It has been really amazing so far!

On The Radio...UH OH!!! hmm...fun song! I like it :) :)

Doo doo doop dee doo

ahh well okay....this week has gone so fast! Once I got back to gma and gpa's things just began falling back into routine. To start off the week Sunday night I saw Tell and he wouldn't even talk to me let alone acknowledge I was even there. It was bothering me about what to do...since I had gotten home over break I was just praying about what God wanted me to do...talk to him again or just leave it alone. That night I was reading Psalm 27...the psalm of my life at this time...and the last verse said WAIT on the Lord. There was my answer right in front of me. I trust that all things work together for good for them that trust Him.
So busy week...it was so great to get back here to gma and gpa's! Seeing them again! But, alas, I began feeling down on Tuesday...but God is soooooooo awesome! He brought me a new friend who truly was a great encouragement to me! I met Nicole through mom and dad who knew her through Reliv...she was actually the one who told me about the biblestudy where I met Tell. Well we finally went out for that coffee we had kept saying we were gonna get. Oh why had we not before I foolishly fell into making the wrong choices!? BUT God's plan is perfect...I know there would be no way I would be as close to Him now if I didn't go through all the pain....I do have times when I began to wish I could of done things differently but right away I try to change that thinking cuz what happened made me who I am today and....it is so great the things i have learned through it all. GOD IS AWESOME!!!!! WOW!!!
So Nicole really helped me. And suggesting ways I can be a light and joy for my gparents. She is a prayer warrior and said I can call her anytime! I love her! She is truly a blessing from God to me!
Reliv has been going great! I am learning alot and am becoming more excited about what i can do with this business! Heard a great story call on Thursday about people my age who have had alot of success and that gave me hope. I am so passionate about being able to help people with their health and even their finances! Reliv has done so much for my family i will never be without it! It took me awhile to see the vision but i am beginning to and can't wait to go to the International conference in Feb. at Fort Worth TEXAS babay!!!! :)
So life is going...as long as I continue to cling to Him that sustains me! WOW WOW WOW!!! GOD IS AMAZING!!! I look forward to what He has planned for me to do for His glory!
Okay I am finally getting tired now! Goodnight! :D :D

Happy New Year!

Well I am sitting in a hotel room in Sioux Falls, SD waiting for my aunt Lisa and Gma Surat to get back from shopping she left early and i slept hehe. So thought I'd take this time to write about the past year and the one coming up. I won't have Internet for a week cuz i am going to my other grandparents house before returning to the ones I am caring for.

First before I dive into it I just thought I would think about somethings. I was meet by so many challenges this year. I think more then I ever have in a year. But I have for sure seen the change it has done to me. I am stronger spiritually and emotionally and I am definitely wiser. It is so amazing to me how God can take bad things that happen and turn it into something for His glory! Also I could never have endure through all the challenges without His grace, mercy and constant guidance! In Christ alone my hope is found, He is my Light my Strength my Song!





The Year That Is Past.......


well, 2008 was once again a year full of learning. Full of trials which challenged me to cling to my Savior. In January I took an EMT class at WVC it ran all the way until April. Wow, It is amazing to me that it has been a year already since i was in that class! I learned alot and was challenged so much in that class. It will be something I take with me everywhere I go. And maybe someday be able to use what i learned.
I worked six different jobs this year! whoa! First the soup cellar, then lifeguard, then swim coach, then caretaker of my gparents, server and a hunting lodge, and finally an independent Reliv distributor! Whew!
I graduate with my AAS degree in June, then summer practically flew by. I worked at the Leavenworth city pool again as a lifeguard and WSI. Had an awesome season coaching Upper Valley Swim team! We were undefeated and WON Championship YAHOO!!! I had fun to with friends and family. Went hiking, jet skiing, wake boarding which is amazing, and i almost went skydiving twice! lol.
In August I bought my own vehicle! AHHHHH!!!! YEAH! I love my Subaru! and I will try to avoid driving a granny van. lol.
September brought a season of new challenges and learning. Taking care of my Gparents as you can read in earlier blog posts.
October I made a foolish choice to date a guy. Not that dating a guy is wrong, but after all that I have ever been taught and wanted in a relationship for myself and dreamed of I threw away in a few short weeks. To add on to that in December I fell short and experienced hurt I never knew could happen. Supposed friends turning there back on me and spreading lies, not even trying to learn the truth...Tell included.
I came home for Christmas and experienced the exact opposite from my friends at home. Acceptance and Love for me no matter what i did. I can't began to describe the feeling I had from God amazing forgiveness and love of my family and friends.
My time back in WA was encouraging and helped me get ready to return to the challenges back in SD.



The Year To Come...2009
Okay so I became a independent Reliv distributor on December 31, 2008! I am so excited for what i can do with this amazing company! It has done so much for my family already and I believe I really can do this! Yahoo!
Well, right of the bat I'm already met with another challenge. My Aunt Bev is moving back to KS. After committing to gma and gpa for the winter. She is just leaving. I have agreed to stay with them for the winter months, but I don't know what will happen to then after that. So i will be caring for them once again on my own. I went to see my great gma in MN who is 98 and I got an overwhelm sense of grief for what i saw there. I almost just started crying. Everyone just sitting around....like all they were just waiting to die...like the only thing left for them is to die! I don't want that for gma and gpa!!! One thing that has really struck me after taking care of my gparents. is that I DO NOT want to be like that when I am old. grumpy and depressed and down, etc. I want to be full of joy and cheerful ....be alive and living, giving glory to my Savior!
So now I am struggling with feeling of resentment and dislike towards my aunt. Because of the way she treated me when i was there and now going back on her word. It is something I realize i can't do without my Lord. I pray that He will fill me with love for her! and forgive her. It is hard. I know I couldn't of forgiven all those other people who treated me way worse without God love...I don't why it is so hard with Bev.
Anyways...I will most likely remain in SD at least until spring maybe summer. I will be building my business along with caring for them and got hired to do some housecleaning on the side.
I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUMMER!!!! I will return to the pool and coach again too!!!
After summer I am left with uncertainty once again, but am prepared for the challenges i will be faced with, with Jesus by my side...but I must say that I am so excited and can't wait to see what God will be having me do!!! ;) i do know that I will be continuing to strive and bring Him glory in all i do while growing closer to HIM!!!!