How much does $10 dollars mean to you?
A few months ago I signed up to receive a glam bag once a month for $10 a month. Glam Bags apparently are all the rage now and there are several options and sites to sign up on. I opted for one that I could cancel anytime. Basically what it is are beauty product samples that are sent in a little makeup bag. It can range from mascara to nail polish. It was really fun to receive it every month and you never knew what you would get, but you got at least 5+ things each time! I recently started cutting back my spending and cancel my subscription.
Then I was checking out a friends facebook page and for their birthday they wanted a $10 donation to an orphanage in Kenya instead of people giving her a gift. There was an option to do it monthly. I have been supporting an orphan in Togo since last year so I didn't select the monthly donation at this time, but it made me stop and think. I was paying $10 a month for several months for this silly little glam bag, which I don't NEED I just WANTED and the products I don't use as much. And here was an orphanage that could make my $10 go alot farther for the furthering of God's Kingdom...ALOT farther than makeup.
I've been reading Managing God's Money by Randy Alcorn. The person marrying us is having Ryan and I read it. I highly recommend it! There is one part that talks about strategic lifestyle and a simple one. IF you are living a strategic lifestyle then what you invest your money in will be used for Kingdom purposes. It is all about perspective...! This website might help you see that. It is quite eye-opening to see where you land on the scale. I'm in the top 11% percent of the richest people in the world! And even if I only made $1500 I would still be richer than 75% of the world!
After spending almost 2 weeks in Togo I started realizing how much I really have! Right now planning and spending money on a wedding sometimes seems a bit ridiculous to me when I saw how little money there could go so far! I could help a family with a goat and a bible (a goat to help their lifestyle and a bible for their souls) for just $35. If I took all the money from this wedding and put it towards that it would help over 170 families in Togo. I'm not trying to be ridiculous here....I want a nice wedding and it's a once in a lifetime thing...but this has still crossed my mind.
Another part in the book I enjoyed was about what you leave behind, your legacy. Why save up bucket loads of money when I can use it for God's Kingdom now! Some parts in this book are quite radical, but it this part makes sense to me. He also does address the need to enjoy vacations and little comforts for the renewing and refreshing of our mental, physical, and emotional health. So it's not like he is saying to leave everything and "follow" Christ, but there is a part about that I really like to, which I won't go into right now.
"What may strike us as radical, when compared to those around us, even in our Christian culture, seems not to be radical at all when compared to the teaching of the Scripture."
Showing posts with label Africa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Africa. Show all posts
1.31.2013
1.08.2011
How to Prepare for 2011
This link was post by our pastor, thought it was pretty thought provoking and awesome!
COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2010
Review the list of all completed projects:
What was your biggest triumph in 2010?
Beating Leavenworth and winning WVSSL Championships!
What was the smartest decision you made in 2010?
Breaking off an unhealthy relationship.
What one word best sums up and describes your 2010 experience?
forgiven.
What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2010?
Once again, who my true friends are.
What was the most loving service you performed in 2010?
Helping friends out (moving, wedding, etc.) offering my service in childcare at church.
What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2010?
Reliv.
What are you most happy about completing in 2010?
Gearing up for Africa.
Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2010?
Jenny Leigh, Courtney, and Ryan Jacob.
What was the biggest risk you took in 2010?
Giving my heart to someone who ripped it apart.
What was the biggest surprise in 2010?
The amount of my so-called "friends" who turned their backs on me.
What important relationship improved the most in 2010?
Jenny Leigh.
What compliment would you liked to have received in 2010?
You are a Godly Woman.
What compliment would you liked to have given in 2010?
You've always been there for me.
What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2010?
God is faithful!
CREATING THE NEW YEAR
What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2011?
Helping alot of people with great nutrition and income.
What advice would you like to give yourself in 2011?
I don't know what 2011 holds, but I know who holds 2011...God is in control!
What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2011?
Set and write down goals for advancing my business!
What would you be most happy about completing in 2011?
Nourishing our world.
What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2011?
Backpacking trips!
What would you most like to change about yourself in 2011?
Be strong.
What are you looking forward to learning in 2011?
To be on mission with the Gospel daily. Applying the Gospel to every decision.
What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2011?
Investing in relationships.
What about your work, are you most committed to changing and improving in 2011?
Being a leader.
What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2011?
Backpacking in the mountains.
What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2011?
Swing dancing! Find me a good partner bahaha ;)
Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2011?
Pouring out my love to disease-infected orphans in Africa and to the kids on swim team.
What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2011?
Joy!
COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2010
Review the list of all completed projects:
What was your biggest triumph in 2010?
Beating Leavenworth and winning WVSSL Championships!
What was the smartest decision you made in 2010?
Breaking off an unhealthy relationship.
What one word best sums up and describes your 2010 experience?
forgiven.
What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2010?
Once again, who my true friends are.
What was the most loving service you performed in 2010?
Helping friends out (moving, wedding, etc.) offering my service in childcare at church.
What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2010?
Reliv.
What are you most happy about completing in 2010?
Gearing up for Africa.
Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2010?
Jenny Leigh, Courtney, and Ryan Jacob.
What was the biggest risk you took in 2010?
Giving my heart to someone who ripped it apart.
What was the biggest surprise in 2010?
The amount of my so-called "friends" who turned their backs on me.
What important relationship improved the most in 2010?
Jenny Leigh.
What compliment would you liked to have received in 2010?
You are a Godly Woman.
What compliment would you liked to have given in 2010?
You've always been there for me.
What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2010?
God is faithful!
CREATING THE NEW YEAR
What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2011?
Helping alot of people with great nutrition and income.
What advice would you like to give yourself in 2011?
I don't know what 2011 holds, but I know who holds 2011...God is in control!
What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2011?
Set and write down goals for advancing my business!
What would you be most happy about completing in 2011?
Nourishing our world.
What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2011?
Backpacking trips!
What would you most like to change about yourself in 2011?
Be strong.
What are you looking forward to learning in 2011?
To be on mission with the Gospel daily. Applying the Gospel to every decision.
What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2011?
Investing in relationships.
What about your work, are you most committed to changing and improving in 2011?
Being a leader.
What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2011?
Backpacking in the mountains.
What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2011?
Swing dancing! Find me a good partner bahaha ;)
Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2011?
Pouring out my love to disease-infected orphans in Africa and to the kids on swim team.
What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2011?
Joy!
7.15.2010
Summer Update
Well the summer is halfway over! I can't believe how fast it is going! I will be done coaching in 2 weeks...we have had a great season so far. I love all the kids and how much practice time we get to work on stuff. We have won all of our meets so far except for Ephrata, but it was really close, so we might be able to pull off a win at Champs! The last meet is this coming Wednesday against Leavenworth (USVT) and I'm feeling pretty good about it...I think we have a chance to beat them. Championships is on July 31st and then the pool party in on August 1.
Then August 12-15 is International conference for Reliv in St. Louis! Woohoo! I am so excited for this conference. First it'll be my last one until next year because I will miss National conference since I will be in Africa. Second, because I remember how motivated I was coming home from the last one until I hit the wall. Third I need this. Positive healthy people to lift me up and encourage me.
As for Africa, I have finished my application and have one letter of recommendation from my pastor. I have to get one more letter and then I'm meeting with one of our church deacons to talk about ideas for support and fund raising!
My Lost in God plan for the summer is fallen in a rut, but more on that later, I need to sleep...if I can, anyways...peace out.
Then August 12-15 is International conference for Reliv in St. Louis! Woohoo! I am so excited for this conference. First it'll be my last one until next year because I will miss National conference since I will be in Africa. Second, because I remember how motivated I was coming home from the last one until I hit the wall. Third I need this. Positive healthy people to lift me up and encourage me.
As for Africa, I have finished my application and have one letter of recommendation from my pastor. I have to get one more letter and then I'm meeting with one of our church deacons to talk about ideas for support and fund raising!
My Lost in God plan for the summer is fallen in a rut, but more on that later, I need to sleep...if I can, anyways...peace out.
6.21.2010
UP from the depths of despair haha
Yeah we all get those down days...days with no motivation, days of loneliness, days where Satan brings the past driving back into one's head at full force. Not a very good day to start off the week I must say, but having a positive attitude of it can only go up from here is one way to beat the monster of despair and gloom. One of the ways, besides my time with my best friend and Savior, is to focus on others... We have a good Reliv friend visiting from Montana this weekend and he has agreed to do a few special events/meetings while he is in the area! It is great for me to be getting into Reliv mode again :) I realize that if I can help people and build up my business here in the States I will be having a double ministry once I am in Africa!
Africa...yeah I went river rafting on Saturday, it was da bomb, anyways while we were hanging out waiting to embark I was talking to our guide, Megan, and she had shared that she went to Kenya a few years ago. She also said that when she went she had envisioned that she would be living there for the next 20 years...but once she was there it became clear that was not what God wanted. Well, I have thought about spending a substantial amount of time in Africa...the be a change, get Reliv to those kids! Guess will have to see what happens next year.
And...today was a day of "I know." I know that all that matters is I do my best to coach for the glory of God whether we win or not. I know that someone making a decision could be a life changing thing and that it will be in God's plan. I know I have to trust Him. I know, I know, I know...but it doesn't change the way I feel. Part of my journey in getting lost in God is turning that knowing into reality...so that knowing it will be enough and change the way I feel and my attitude.
I fail, everyday...I mess up! How God can be so patient is beyond my comprehension. I can barely hold my temper when it comes to my 7 year old brother throwing a water balloon at my head when I'm leaving for work, or dumping soy nuts all over the back of my car, or noisily bouncing off the walls when I trying to talk on the phone, or...well you get the idea. But I continually am doing things like that, well not exactly like that, but you understand what I mean. I forever feel like I am falling before the throne of grace and mercy confessing and repenting. I am so mad at myself for failing in sin over and over. But it is a continual battle, every day, every hour, every minute. I will keep on messing up. Isn't it great that Christ died for your every sin before you even committed it! Ah, just blows my mind! Father forgive me for the minutes I waste for my own pleasure and satisfaction. Humble me and teach me how I can glorify You with my every breath.
What will it look like taking one day at a time, one hour at a time, glorifying Christ alone? Hmm, this girl is on the journey to find out, another peice of the puzzle, another step towards the finish and just another day in pursing to be lost in God.
Africa...yeah I went river rafting on Saturday, it was da bomb, anyways while we were hanging out waiting to embark I was talking to our guide, Megan, and she had shared that she went to Kenya a few years ago. She also said that when she went she had envisioned that she would be living there for the next 20 years...but once she was there it became clear that was not what God wanted. Well, I have thought about spending a substantial amount of time in Africa...the be a change, get Reliv to those kids! Guess will have to see what happens next year.
And...today was a day of "I know." I know that all that matters is I do my best to coach for the glory of God whether we win or not. I know that someone making a decision could be a life changing thing and that it will be in God's plan. I know I have to trust Him. I know, I know, I know...but it doesn't change the way I feel. Part of my journey in getting lost in God is turning that knowing into reality...so that knowing it will be enough and change the way I feel and my attitude.
I fail, everyday...I mess up! How God can be so patient is beyond my comprehension. I can barely hold my temper when it comes to my 7 year old brother throwing a water balloon at my head when I'm leaving for work, or dumping soy nuts all over the back of my car, or noisily bouncing off the walls when I trying to talk on the phone, or...well you get the idea. But I continually am doing things like that, well not exactly like that, but you understand what I mean. I forever feel like I am falling before the throne of grace and mercy confessing and repenting. I am so mad at myself for failing in sin over and over. But it is a continual battle, every day, every hour, every minute. I will keep on messing up. Isn't it great that Christ died for your every sin before you even committed it! Ah, just blows my mind! Father forgive me for the minutes I waste for my own pleasure and satisfaction. Humble me and teach me how I can glorify You with my every breath.
What will it look like taking one day at a time, one hour at a time, glorifying Christ alone? Hmm, this girl is on the journey to find out, another peice of the puzzle, another step towards the finish and just another day in pursing to be lost in God.
6.08.2010
Moving Forward
So much is running through my head right now that I don't even know where to start! My heart feels so full, yet I have a certain peace and calm about me that is so familiar. Tonight is such a clear night that the stars showing off their charm with extra sparkle. I remember when we first moved here to Washington and on beautiful nights like this I would go outside and just look at the stars talking to God. Expressing the joys and groanings of my heart I knew He heard me. I wondered walking in to the house this evening what happened to those times I used to do that? They were so refreshing and restoring to my spirit especially just sitting outside of a house full of people lol. I replaced those starry mountain nights with sunsets on the flat plains Dakota since I had to be in the house at night...but now that I've been home it's had been awhile since those starry night talks with my best friend. I realized that driving home this evening and having to pull over again overcome by emotion (twice in the last month) doesn't seem healthy. But tonight a burden regarding a situation about Reliv weighing on my heart since February has been lifted. I have to keep moving forward! He will be with me! He will give me the words to say! Just keep moving forward Rachel.
Isn't God good? God is good...all the time! Such a simple statement and so easy to forget. Don't know if you have ever experienced hurt and pain so badly in your heart that you could feel it...like physically feel it...I have. I can count them all on one hand so far. Sometimes it lasted longer than other times. Tonight was such a night except it didn't last long, just a moment then I was flooded in healing. And was told to keep moving forward. It was amazing.
In February my wall of belief in Reliv was demolished. It is ironic because at the beginning of that month I was on fire and moving forward! It was awesome :) Then Satan attacked and I fell. So hard that it has taken this long to get back up again unfortunately, but I got up again. I know what I have seen! I know what Reliv can do! But I was letting Satan win and letting him keep trampling me down.
I think that everything coming together for South Africa has been part of building me back up again. If Reliv could get to Africa I truly believe that it will change that country! If God is gonna use me and this upcoming trip to get Reliv over there then I need to stop sitting in my pain and pity and start moving forward. Yeah those people hurt me, but how many more people am I letting continue to live in pain because of one little bruise I received?
They think I'm all about money and using my friends to get rich than they do not know what I am about at all! They have not seen what I have seen! What Reliv is truly about. I've seen grown men cry because they got the wife or child back. I've seen families who had no hope left get another chance. I've seen prevented suicides, people get out of wheelchairs and the list goes on and on! I don't even want to think about where my family would be now if it wasn't for God bringing Reliv into our lives. Jonathan would not be here and my mom might not be either. No, maybe you can't understand...you think ok, that is so wonderful that it worked for me...you don't understand what it felt like to be 15 and the oldest of the family to think that my mom might die and then I would be left to take care of everything. To see my mom in so much pain. Kids shouldn't have to worrying about taking care of their mom.
People don't understand what they have until they lose it. Yeah you feel great and healthy now, but down the road once you lose your quality of life, your health! How much is prevention worth to you? Why wait until you have a problem and then need to take medication, which has horrible side effects then need to take more drugs for those side effects!? That is how it goes! I saw it with my grandpa.
I'm just excited to be a part of this amazing company! To help get this out and nourish the world! People in third world countries are living off of Reliv, it is all they have to survive! They don't complain about the taste, they are just thankful to even get any that day. My heart is truly to help people. It has been such a blessing when someone who I told about Reliv is not living in pain anymore.
And once I get this going I will have a double ministry! That is what I'm most excited about :) I will be helping alot of people here in the US and then use that support over in Africa! :D I think that overwhelming feeling I got tonight was God trying to tell me something and I think the message got through :)
So here I go, moving forward, one day at a time :)
Isn't God good? God is good...all the time! Such a simple statement and so easy to forget. Don't know if you have ever experienced hurt and pain so badly in your heart that you could feel it...like physically feel it...I have. I can count them all on one hand so far. Sometimes it lasted longer than other times. Tonight was such a night except it didn't last long, just a moment then I was flooded in healing. And was told to keep moving forward. It was amazing.
In February my wall of belief in Reliv was demolished. It is ironic because at the beginning of that month I was on fire and moving forward! It was awesome :) Then Satan attacked and I fell. So hard that it has taken this long to get back up again unfortunately, but I got up again. I know what I have seen! I know what Reliv can do! But I was letting Satan win and letting him keep trampling me down.
I think that everything coming together for South Africa has been part of building me back up again. If Reliv could get to Africa I truly believe that it will change that country! If God is gonna use me and this upcoming trip to get Reliv over there then I need to stop sitting in my pain and pity and start moving forward. Yeah those people hurt me, but how many more people am I letting continue to live in pain because of one little bruise I received?
They think I'm all about money and using my friends to get rich than they do not know what I am about at all! They have not seen what I have seen! What Reliv is truly about. I've seen grown men cry because they got the wife or child back. I've seen families who had no hope left get another chance. I've seen prevented suicides, people get out of wheelchairs and the list goes on and on! I don't even want to think about where my family would be now if it wasn't for God bringing Reliv into our lives. Jonathan would not be here and my mom might not be either. No, maybe you can't understand...you think ok, that is so wonderful that it worked for me...you don't understand what it felt like to be 15 and the oldest of the family to think that my mom might die and then I would be left to take care of everything. To see my mom in so much pain. Kids shouldn't have to worrying about taking care of their mom.
People don't understand what they have until they lose it. Yeah you feel great and healthy now, but down the road once you lose your quality of life, your health! How much is prevention worth to you? Why wait until you have a problem and then need to take medication, which has horrible side effects then need to take more drugs for those side effects!? That is how it goes! I saw it with my grandpa.
I'm just excited to be a part of this amazing company! To help get this out and nourish the world! People in third world countries are living off of Reliv, it is all they have to survive! They don't complain about the taste, they are just thankful to even get any that day. My heart is truly to help people. It has been such a blessing when someone who I told about Reliv is not living in pain anymore.
And once I get this going I will have a double ministry! That is what I'm most excited about :) I will be helping alot of people here in the US and then use that support over in Africa! :D I think that overwhelming feeling I got tonight was God trying to tell me something and I think the message got through :)
So here I go, moving forward, one day at a time :)
6.04.2010
This video is of the kids at Lambano Sanctuary in South Africa where I will be for at least 6 months God-willing starting January 2011.
5.28.2010
2 weeks of rain
This is the second week we've had crappy weather :P ...Daniel and I had a hike planned up Ingalls Creek, the trail head isn't far from our house and never hiked it! Yeah, planned it 2 weeks ago then it started raining off and on since then! I haven't seen the sun in forever!...but that is good because the river will fill up and the rapids will be awesome for the white water rafting trip I won in a raffle on Tuesday. A free trip for 8 people, a $500 dollar value!
Yeah on Tuesday Marika and I went to the Hope Project kickoff celebration as Plain, WA adopted Gardnersville, Liberia, as its very own sister city! It was so cool to see this local community make a change 7,000 miles away! I found out that the top 10 poorest countries in the world are in Africa and Liberia is third on the list. Haiti isn't even on that top 10 list, it's just is in our hemisphere! I decided to donate a small amount every month, it's not much, but it's what I can afford at this time. Another thing which was cool is that they weren't pressure for money either, just the way they presented it was beautiful in the way that showed their heart to really help this other country however they could. They support a school over there and may make some trips in the future, but only if there is still a school to go to. I'm so blessed to be a part of this organization :)
I'm going to Seattle for this week and I'm excited! I wasn't going to go unless I cleaned my room so I finished it yesterday! Woohoo!
A good improvement I think! tehe :) Tonight is Beccah's 16th birthday bash! I'm in charge of games...so I gotta go plan! Peace.
5.22.2010
life right now
It's almost my favorite time of year...summer! Hiking. swimming, hanging out, lovely summer evenings...! June 14th swim team starts! :D I got hired as the head coach for Cashmere :O yeah...Leavenworth didn't want me back, but I'll show them...Cashmere will kick butt!!! haha!! I'm really excited for this season, it will be different then the last 3 years of my coaching experience since I was only asst. coach then and this team is smaller with more practice time so I can make them amazing swimmers ;)
Also, it looks like, God-willing, I will be in South Africa next year!!!! :D I've been in contact with Lambano Sanctuary which is an organization that helps HIV positive orphans. I've found out about them through a friend's friend, but the funny thing is after awhile I remembered that our girls bible study like 5 years ago did a fundraiser for them! God is good :) They have requested if I would be a homework teacher, where I would help the kids with school in the afternoons. In the mornings I would work with the hospice children. I think at first I was hesitant...I procrastinated in answering because I was "praying" about it. Just trying not to get me hopes up...I've had this desire in my heart for soooooo long that the thought of it coming true unsettled me because I didn't wanna hope only disappointed. But you know what? I realized that I can pursue this with all I got and if it isn't the right time or place God will close the doors...so here I go. I trust Him! Also another thing I realized...my life doesn't start once I get to Africa, it is here right now and I need to use each day for the furthering of His Kingdom. At first I think that I was just waiting to go to Africa to actually start living my life and doing what God wants me to...but He has a work for me here right now. I'm still excited for Africa though!!!!
Also, it looks like, God-willing, I will be in South Africa next year!!!! :D I've been in contact with Lambano Sanctuary which is an organization that helps HIV positive orphans. I've found out about them through a friend's friend, but the funny thing is after awhile I remembered that our girls bible study like 5 years ago did a fundraiser for them! God is good :) They have requested if I would be a homework teacher, where I would help the kids with school in the afternoons. In the mornings I would work with the hospice children. I think at first I was hesitant...I procrastinated in answering because I was "praying" about it. Just trying not to get me hopes up...I've had this desire in my heart for soooooo long that the thought of it coming true unsettled me because I didn't wanna hope only disappointed. But you know what? I realized that I can pursue this with all I got and if it isn't the right time or place God will close the doors...so here I go. I trust Him! Also another thing I realized...my life doesn't start once I get to Africa, it is here right now and I need to use each day for the furthering of His Kingdom. At first I think that I was just waiting to go to Africa to actually start living my life and doing what God wants me to...but He has a work for me here right now. I'm still excited for Africa though!!!!
3.06.2010
Africa
Well, yesterday, March 5, was the one year mark since God told me to go to Africa and I said yes. I still remember it so clearly in my mind, the place, the feeling I felt...it was so certain. On that night one year ago I was in South Dakota and I was taking my usually walk at sunset around the farm just talking to God and thoughts going back to the video that I watched about this kid in Africa a few days earlier at a college bible study. It had really gotten to me.
My heart has always longed for mission work overseas since I was 10, but never a specific place. That night it became so clear to me! God wants me in Africa! This is the one thing I am positively certain of! And God-willing I may be there at this time next year. My heart is full, about to burst! It is slowly starting to come together! Even though times may come when it seems uncertain. I will always cling to the day I said yes and go back to March 5, 2009 and remember that night and know with certainty :)
My heart has always longed for mission work overseas since I was 10, but never a specific place. That night it became so clear to me! God wants me in Africa! This is the one thing I am positively certain of! And God-willing I may be there at this time next year. My heart is full, about to burst! It is slowly starting to come together! Even though times may come when it seems uncertain. I will always cling to the day I said yes and go back to March 5, 2009 and remember that night and know with certainty :)
1.29.2010
Be the change you wish to see in the world
I reflect back on the last week and half and how each day I have felt different emotions. A comforting peace and sure of my decision and then the next day my heart physically hurts like it is breaking into a million pieces. I am confident in the choice I have made, but I do need to reassure myself that this is the path God wants me to take.
After breaking it off with Daniel God has been working in my heart and stirring up Africa again…I so long to be there at this moment maybe just to get away from all this hurting, but God has His timing and I fully trust Him to get me there when it’s time. I have been pushing on a few doors though with no avail.
The last year and a half has been quite a journey…it started when I went to South Dakota in September 2008 to take care of grandma and grandpa. I think because it was the first time I was actually away from my parents is why the journey began. Reflecting back on everything brings a rush of so many memories and emotions its hard to grasp them all. The pain and the happiness. I think the biggest thing was how my spiritual journey was effected…
I think the lack of fellowship, my poor choices, and experience while I was away from home impacted me more then I thought. So much in that I came to a state where I couldn’t feel the closeness of my Savior. Sure when I went to a bible study or church and worshiped I would on occasion, but my personal spirituality was severely lacking. I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t read the Bible. I felt stuck, I was stuck. And don’t get me wrong I tried to do these things. What it came down to was a sin in my life I wasn’t viewing with the hated we as believers should have towards sin, that among the other things. When I got home from my second trip to SD this past Christmas, I was back in my beloved church where the Holy Spirit is clearly working, attending BSF where we are studying the book of John, and going back to the college study I’ve been in. Being convicted to confess my sin before the throne of grace and repenting I felt restored, it is still a working progress though.
The thing that really spoke to me were the chapters in the book of John BSF was doing at the time I came back.
From John chapter 9: Many time God gives us suffering in our lives in order to awaken our spirits.
From John chapter 10: Talks about Jesus being the Good Shepherd and how once we are His sheep no one can snatch us from out of His hand. He is holding onto me. I am secure in Him.
So during the time I felt I was so far from Christ…He was still holding onto me, not giving up, just patiently loving His child.
Another verse that keep coming up in my readings and lectures I attend was Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.” That is where God started speaking to me…just to be still and once I did He showed be the above truths reassuring me.
He never let’s go! Through the calm and through the storm, HE NEVER LETS GO OF ME!
Now where am I…? God has told me to go to Africa to be a part of getting Reliv over there. I found a ring at the dept store last week. It is a simple silver band with a twist in it and the words engraved on it are “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I wear it now to remind me of this calling and how may not be able to change the world, but I can be that change.
After breaking it off with Daniel God has been working in my heart and stirring up Africa again…I so long to be there at this moment maybe just to get away from all this hurting, but God has His timing and I fully trust Him to get me there when it’s time. I have been pushing on a few doors though with no avail.
The last year and a half has been quite a journey…it started when I went to South Dakota in September 2008 to take care of grandma and grandpa. I think because it was the first time I was actually away from my parents is why the journey began. Reflecting back on everything brings a rush of so many memories and emotions its hard to grasp them all. The pain and the happiness. I think the biggest thing was how my spiritual journey was effected…
I think the lack of fellowship, my poor choices, and experience while I was away from home impacted me more then I thought. So much in that I came to a state where I couldn’t feel the closeness of my Savior. Sure when I went to a bible study or church and worshiped I would on occasion, but my personal spirituality was severely lacking. I couldn’t pray. I couldn’t read the Bible. I felt stuck, I was stuck. And don’t get me wrong I tried to do these things. What it came down to was a sin in my life I wasn’t viewing with the hated we as believers should have towards sin, that among the other things. When I got home from my second trip to SD this past Christmas, I was back in my beloved church where the Holy Spirit is clearly working, attending BSF where we are studying the book of John, and going back to the college study I’ve been in. Being convicted to confess my sin before the throne of grace and repenting I felt restored, it is still a working progress though.
The thing that really spoke to me were the chapters in the book of John BSF was doing at the time I came back.
From John chapter 9: Many time God gives us suffering in our lives in order to awaken our spirits.
From John chapter 10: Talks about Jesus being the Good Shepherd and how once we are His sheep no one can snatch us from out of His hand. He is holding onto me. I am secure in Him.
So during the time I felt I was so far from Christ…He was still holding onto me, not giving up, just patiently loving His child.
Another verse that keep coming up in my readings and lectures I attend was Psalm 46:10 “Be still, and know that I am God.” That is where God started speaking to me…just to be still and once I did He showed be the above truths reassuring me.
He never let’s go! Through the calm and through the storm, HE NEVER LETS GO OF ME!
Now where am I…? God has told me to go to Africa to be a part of getting Reliv over there. I found a ring at the dept store last week. It is a simple silver band with a twist in it and the words engraved on it are “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” I wear it now to remind me of this calling and how may not be able to change the world, but I can be that change.
3.15.2009
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