Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

4.25.2009

=D

Wow. God is awesome. Final answer.

He is continually knocking me in the head. HELLO! He never ceases to amaze me. Why do I ever doubt...geez! Anyways, the burden of my attitude is gone and one other matter is on the mend. WOW! Seriously...within the matter of a day, after months of having to struggle and endure...gone...just like that! He knows when I am ready for another piece of the puzzle of my life. Yeah, God is awesome.

Faithfully, He shows me, piece by piece.

tied together with a smile, but coming undone

Well, I leave in 27 days to drive home for the summer. Today I've been thinking alot and not really motivated to do much else. The 9 months total that I have been I South Dakota have been a terrible awesome experience. I think it will still take some time for me to grasp all that has happened to me. So many questions have been peppering my brain that it's producing a headache. haha. For instance, if I knew what was gonna happen would I still of come out here? I don't know. I think about the awesome times I've had out here and how much I have grown. But then I think about the terrible times and how painful they were to endure to shape me into who I am today.
It is strange. The hurt seems to most days be far in the back of my mind almost forgotten, but then all of a sudden comes up to strongly that I can't seem to bear it. I suppose that it all will never be truly forgotten though I wish I could.
Today is one of those days were the hurt is very strong that I just don't want to feel it anymore.
God works in mysterious ways...ways I never expect. My expectations when I came out here, where happy and joyful. Now I have come to expect nothing. God help me make the most of the last few weeks I'm here. Help me to get rid of this burden.
The last few months, have just seemed to drift by. The burden became very heavy. Praying to God and talking to people who could kind of understood helped.
Two things of significance happened though the last few months. God called me to Africa and that feeling is so strong in me, that it is now a part of me. It is in my heart and on my mind daily. The other is I began feeling something I never felt before and it is still finding meaning in my heart. What it is to fall in love. :)


God, I do not understand what it is You are doing. I thought I had it down, but then You show me another piece. Just keep giving it to me piece by piece Father. You know the whole picture. I do understand that I can't handle the whole thing all at once and that is why You give it to me in pieces. Be near me as I struggle to put the pieces together. I trust You.

4.22.2009

a better day :)

Well, I am okay now.

4.21.2009

Oh btw...

...there's been a skunk in the garage. Believe me he left his evidence! I hope he doesn't come back and worse yet...is not in there when I open the door! That would be interesting.

I feel like screaming...but its whatever really...argh

AAAHHH! Okay, I am okay. Eh, I don't like when I feel like this. Argh. Blah. :P Whatever. Nothing happened today. I have no specific reason I'm feeling this way, so its whatever really. Hmmm...I haven't posted in over a month, gotta get back on it! It is weird cuz I'll go through phases where I post alot then am silent for periods of time. Blah.
Well, phewy. I don't know even where to start or what to say. I think I know what the problem is but I can't get over the (what feels like) a mountian! Ergh. Yeah. Okay. I can't get my thoughts typed out on the computer screen right now so...I be posting actually something worth reading later...okay, sorry to waste your time of reading a worthless post. Bye.