How much does $10 dollars mean to you?
A few months ago I signed up to receive a glam bag once a month for $10 a month. Glam Bags apparently are all the rage now and there are several options and sites to sign up on. I opted for one that I could cancel anytime. Basically what it is are beauty product samples that are sent in a little makeup bag. It can range from mascara to nail polish. It was really fun to receive it every month and you never knew what you would get, but you got at least 5+ things each time! I recently started cutting back my spending and cancel my subscription.
Then I was checking out a friends facebook page and for their birthday they wanted a $10 donation to an orphanage in Kenya instead of people giving her a gift. There was an option to do it monthly. I have been supporting an orphan in Togo since last year so I didn't select the monthly donation at this time, but it made me stop and think. I was paying $10 a month for several months for this silly little glam bag, which I don't NEED I just WANTED and the products I don't use as much. And here was an orphanage that could make my $10 go alot farther for the furthering of God's Kingdom...ALOT farther than makeup.
I've been reading Managing God's Money by Randy Alcorn. The person marrying us is having Ryan and I read it. I highly recommend it! There is one part that talks about strategic lifestyle and a simple one. IF you are living a strategic lifestyle then what you invest your money in will be used for Kingdom purposes. It is all about perspective...! This website might help you see that. It is quite eye-opening to see where you land on the scale. I'm in the top 11% percent of the richest people in the world! And even if I only made $1500 I would still be richer than 75% of the world!
After spending almost 2 weeks in Togo I started realizing how much I really have! Right now planning and spending money on a wedding sometimes seems a bit ridiculous to me when I saw how little money there could go so far! I could help a family with a goat and a bible (a goat to help their lifestyle and a bible for their souls) for just $35. If I took all the money from this wedding and put it towards that it would help over 170 families in Togo. I'm not trying to be ridiculous here....I want a nice wedding and it's a once in a lifetime thing...but this has still crossed my mind.
Another part in the book I enjoyed was about what you leave behind, your legacy. Why save up bucket loads of money when I can use it for God's Kingdom now! Some parts in this book are quite radical, but it this part makes sense to me. He also does address the need to enjoy vacations and little comforts for the renewing and refreshing of our mental, physical, and emotional health. So it's not like he is saying to leave everything and "follow" Christ, but there is a part about that I really like to, which I won't go into right now.
"What may strike us as radical, when compared to those around us, even in our Christian culture, seems not to be radical at all when compared to the teaching of the Scripture."
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
1.31.2013
2.26.2011
A Moment
The world is
happening
going on around me.
Here i sit and the only
thing that matters
right now
in this very moment
is You.
i go back once again
Jesus
to be lost in You
to fall in love with You.
Fall in love with You
more and more
every day
but i don't
i get lost in this
world of folly
caught up in the routine and activities of life.
You sit
wait
watch
until i remember You again.
To come back and sit with You
in this moment like i am now
where the only thing that matters
is You.
Can i not stay here forever?
But i don't
i stand up
walk away
swept away
with the flow of the busy crowd
leaving You
sitting
watching
waiting
until i come back and sit with You next time.
At least i think
You always sit there.
i could take You with me
to be next to me
to be aware
of Your closeness
but i don't.
You do go with me
You are still with me
aren't You.
i'm not always aware of it.
You are right by my side
all the time
holding onto me.
i return to sit with You
as if
You have been there the whole time
i'm unaware
You never left me
when I went back in the rotation of the world.
Jesus
may i always take You with me
in my words
actions
steps
in this life
i get lost in this world
may i still be found in You.
Right now
as this moment is drawing to an end
i must rise from where i sit
with complete contentment in You
feeling Your presence
with me
at this moment
i will take You with me.
The way You have loved me and love me
captivates
overwhelms me
i deepen my love in You.
My whole heart
belongs
to You
at this
moment.
happening
going on around me.
Here i sit and the only
thing that matters
right now
in this very moment
is You.
i go back once again
Jesus
to be lost in You
to fall in love with You.
Fall in love with You
more and more
every day
but i don't
i get lost in this
world of folly
caught up in the routine and activities of life.
You sit
wait
watch
until i remember You again.
To come back and sit with You
in this moment like i am now
where the only thing that matters
is You.
Can i not stay here forever?
But i don't
i stand up
walk away
swept away
with the flow of the busy crowd
leaving You
sitting
watching
waiting
until i come back and sit with You next time.
At least i think
You always sit there.
i could take You with me
to be next to me
to be aware
of Your closeness
but i don't.
You do go with me
You are still with me
aren't You.
i'm not always aware of it.
You are right by my side
all the time
holding onto me.
i return to sit with You
as if
You have been there the whole time
i'm unaware
You never left me
when I went back in the rotation of the world.
Jesus
may i always take You with me
in my words
actions
steps
in this life
i get lost in this world
may i still be found in You.
Right now
as this moment is drawing to an end
i must rise from where i sit
with complete contentment in You
feeling Your presence
with me
at this moment
i will take You with me.
The way You have loved me and love me
captivates
overwhelms me
i deepen my love in You.
My whole heart
belongs
to You
at this
moment.
1.08.2011
How to Prepare for 2011
This link was post by our pastor, thought it was pretty thought provoking and awesome!
COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2010
Review the list of all completed projects:
What was your biggest triumph in 2010?
Beating Leavenworth and winning WVSSL Championships!
What was the smartest decision you made in 2010?
Breaking off an unhealthy relationship.
What one word best sums up and describes your 2010 experience?
forgiven.
What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2010?
Once again, who my true friends are.
What was the most loving service you performed in 2010?
Helping friends out (moving, wedding, etc.) offering my service in childcare at church.
What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2010?
Reliv.
What are you most happy about completing in 2010?
Gearing up for Africa.
Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2010?
Jenny Leigh, Courtney, and Ryan Jacob.
What was the biggest risk you took in 2010?
Giving my heart to someone who ripped it apart.
What was the biggest surprise in 2010?
The amount of my so-called "friends" who turned their backs on me.
What important relationship improved the most in 2010?
Jenny Leigh.
What compliment would you liked to have received in 2010?
You are a Godly Woman.
What compliment would you liked to have given in 2010?
You've always been there for me.
What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2010?
God is faithful!
CREATING THE NEW YEAR
What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2011?
Helping alot of people with great nutrition and income.
What advice would you like to give yourself in 2011?
I don't know what 2011 holds, but I know who holds 2011...God is in control!
What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2011?
Set and write down goals for advancing my business!
What would you be most happy about completing in 2011?
Nourishing our world.
What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2011?
Backpacking trips!
What would you most like to change about yourself in 2011?
Be strong.
What are you looking forward to learning in 2011?
To be on mission with the Gospel daily. Applying the Gospel to every decision.
What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2011?
Investing in relationships.
What about your work, are you most committed to changing and improving in 2011?
Being a leader.
What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2011?
Backpacking in the mountains.
What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2011?
Swing dancing! Find me a good partner bahaha ;)
Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2011?
Pouring out my love to disease-infected orphans in Africa and to the kids on swim team.
What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2011?
Joy!
COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2010
Review the list of all completed projects:
What was your biggest triumph in 2010?
Beating Leavenworth and winning WVSSL Championships!
What was the smartest decision you made in 2010?
Breaking off an unhealthy relationship.
What one word best sums up and describes your 2010 experience?
forgiven.
What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2010?
Once again, who my true friends are.
What was the most loving service you performed in 2010?
Helping friends out (moving, wedding, etc.) offering my service in childcare at church.
What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2010?
Reliv.
What are you most happy about completing in 2010?
Gearing up for Africa.
Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2010?
Jenny Leigh, Courtney, and Ryan Jacob.
What was the biggest risk you took in 2010?
Giving my heart to someone who ripped it apart.
What was the biggest surprise in 2010?
The amount of my so-called "friends" who turned their backs on me.
What important relationship improved the most in 2010?
Jenny Leigh.
What compliment would you liked to have received in 2010?
You are a Godly Woman.
What compliment would you liked to have given in 2010?
You've always been there for me.
What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2010?
God is faithful!
CREATING THE NEW YEAR
What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2011?
Helping alot of people with great nutrition and income.
What advice would you like to give yourself in 2011?
I don't know what 2011 holds, but I know who holds 2011...God is in control!
What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2011?
Set and write down goals for advancing my business!
What would you be most happy about completing in 2011?
Nourishing our world.
What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2011?
Backpacking trips!
What would you most like to change about yourself in 2011?
Be strong.
What are you looking forward to learning in 2011?
To be on mission with the Gospel daily. Applying the Gospel to every decision.
What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2011?
Investing in relationships.
What about your work, are you most committed to changing and improving in 2011?
Being a leader.
What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2011?
Backpacking in the mountains.
What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2011?
Swing dancing! Find me a good partner bahaha ;)
Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2011?
Pouring out my love to disease-infected orphans in Africa and to the kids on swim team.
What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2011?
Joy!
12.18.2010
Heart Matters - new song
My heart is still beating,
Though it's broken into pieces.
I thought you were leaving?
Leaving me with this hurt and this pain.
Why did you deceive me?
Desert me in confusion.
The loneliness consumes my very being.
Not all hope is gone;
I will stand watch.
Set my self on the rampart.
Watch to see what He will say to me...
I'm breaking you down over and over again.
When you think it stops you'll still find you in over your head,
But I have My hold on you,
Nothing can snatch you away.
And I'll always hold your heart, so still.
My beating heart has ceased,
In the stillness emptiness is peace.
The canyons of confusion disappear.
My first and only Love steps out,
From the catacombs of my heart once again.
My hope ignites again,
The waiting game is over.
The ramparts of my heart have found a home.
And You're breaking me down over and over again.
When I think it stops I find I'm still in over my head,
But You have Your hold on me,
Nothing can snatch me away.
And You hold my heart, so still.
Though it's broken into pieces.
I thought you were leaving?
Leaving me with this hurt and this pain.
Why did you deceive me?
Desert me in confusion.
The loneliness consumes my very being.
Not all hope is gone;
I will stand watch.
Set my self on the rampart.
Watch to see what He will say to me...
I'm breaking you down over and over again.
When you think it stops you'll still find you in over your head,
But I have My hold on you,
Nothing can snatch you away.
And I'll always hold your heart, so still.
My beating heart has ceased,
In the stillness emptiness is peace.
The canyons of confusion disappear.
My first and only Love steps out,
From the catacombs of my heart once again.
My hope ignites again,
The waiting game is over.
The ramparts of my heart have found a home.
And You're breaking me down over and over again.
When I think it stops I find I'm still in over my head,
But You have Your hold on me,
Nothing can snatch me away.
And You hold my heart, so still.
9.20.2010
Pour out your heart and cry before Him
My soul, waits silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8
The innermost part of me waits quietly for the Lord, suffering silently. He is my only hope! God only is my stronghold and my foundation. He has ahold of me, I can't be snatched away or moved! God the Sovereign is my fortress and strong tower for me. I hide in Him. I can't be strong alone. Every hope of my being is in Him! Can I trust Him at all times? Yes. I need to cry out to Jesus for saving, He is the only Hope I have! I can't latch onto anything else, because I will be disappointed.
The innermost part of me waits quietly for the Lord, suffering silently. He is my only hope! God only is my stronghold and my foundation. He has ahold of me, I can't be snatched away or moved! God the Sovereign is my fortress and strong tower for me. I hide in Him. I can't be strong alone. Every hope of my being is in Him! Can I trust Him at all times? Yes. I need to cry out to Jesus for saving, He is the only Hope I have! I can't latch onto anything else, because I will be disappointed.
9.07.2010
Complicated
Definition: difficult to analyze, understand, explain.
What is complicated? Life. Relationships. Faith. People. Me.
Who isn't complicated? God.
He is faithful, unchangeable, constant, loving, trustworthy, Sovereign.
What is complicated? Life. Relationships. Faith. People. Me.
Who isn't complicated? God.
He is faithful, unchangeable, constant, loving, trustworthy, Sovereign.
7.15.2010
Summer Update
Well the summer is halfway over! I can't believe how fast it is going! I will be done coaching in 2 weeks...we have had a great season so far. I love all the kids and how much practice time we get to work on stuff. We have won all of our meets so far except for Ephrata, but it was really close, so we might be able to pull off a win at Champs! The last meet is this coming Wednesday against Leavenworth (USVT) and I'm feeling pretty good about it...I think we have a chance to beat them. Championships is on July 31st and then the pool party in on August 1.
Then August 12-15 is International conference for Reliv in St. Louis! Woohoo! I am so excited for this conference. First it'll be my last one until next year because I will miss National conference since I will be in Africa. Second, because I remember how motivated I was coming home from the last one until I hit the wall. Third I need this. Positive healthy people to lift me up and encourage me.
As for Africa, I have finished my application and have one letter of recommendation from my pastor. I have to get one more letter and then I'm meeting with one of our church deacons to talk about ideas for support and fund raising!
My Lost in God plan for the summer is fallen in a rut, but more on that later, I need to sleep...if I can, anyways...peace out.
Then August 12-15 is International conference for Reliv in St. Louis! Woohoo! I am so excited for this conference. First it'll be my last one until next year because I will miss National conference since I will be in Africa. Second, because I remember how motivated I was coming home from the last one until I hit the wall. Third I need this. Positive healthy people to lift me up and encourage me.
As for Africa, I have finished my application and have one letter of recommendation from my pastor. I have to get one more letter and then I'm meeting with one of our church deacons to talk about ideas for support and fund raising!
My Lost in God plan for the summer is fallen in a rut, but more on that later, I need to sleep...if I can, anyways...peace out.
6.26.2010
Lost in God: Living the Cross Centered Life
For the month of June our church is reading together a theology book. The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller is the first option. We already have the second option by C. J. Mahaney Living the Cross Centered Life: Keeping the Gospel the Main Thing. My mom has already read it so I decided I would read that book. Just from reading the introduction I knew that my thinking would be changed. He starts out with something Paul said..."Now I would remind you, brothers, the gospel I preached to you....For I delivered to you of first importance what I also received: Christ died for our sins." He is saying that the one thing that should be the center of our lives daily is the Gospel! The Good News.
Sounds so simple, eh? But then goes on to point out how every day we face temptations to move away from the gospel....that there are three main tendencies that pull us away: 1. Subjectivism, which means basing our relationship with God on our changing feelings and emotions. (yep, I'm guilty of that). 2. Legalism, which means basing our relationship with God on our own performance. (done that too). and 3. Condemnation, which means being more focused on our sin than God's grace. (uh huh guilty again).
as soon as I read that I was gripped by what I may learn from reading this. I pray that the Holy Spirit gives me discernment as I continue reading.
Finishing the first chapter required the use of a tissue. This quote really got me...reminding me of what God has recently in the last 2 years made me even more aware of.
Often my eyes fill with tears at the memories of my foolishness and sin. And in the same instant, my heart will be filled with an unspeakable, holy joy. By the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, I've been forgiven of the countless sins I've committed.
Then he went on to say something I've never really thought about. How today many people run from the past, but he considers regular reminders as precious because he never wants to forget the great mercy shown! Wow! Changing my mindset to that theology in light of the mistakes I've made in the past doesn't make the memories so painful!
I'm anticipating reading the rest of the book, fo sho!
As for the verses we have to memorize...still working on that lol...when one gets older ones memory isn't what it used to be hehe. But my study of the book of Mark is going well, more on that later :)
Sounds so simple, eh? But then goes on to point out how every day we face temptations to move away from the gospel....that there are three main tendencies that pull us away: 1. Subjectivism, which means basing our relationship with God on our changing feelings and emotions. (yep, I'm guilty of that). 2. Legalism, which means basing our relationship with God on our own performance. (done that too). and 3. Condemnation, which means being more focused on our sin than God's grace. (uh huh guilty again).
as soon as I read that I was gripped by what I may learn from reading this. I pray that the Holy Spirit gives me discernment as I continue reading.
Finishing the first chapter required the use of a tissue. This quote really got me...reminding me of what God has recently in the last 2 years made me even more aware of.
Often my eyes fill with tears at the memories of my foolishness and sin. And in the same instant, my heart will be filled with an unspeakable, holy joy. By the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross, I've been forgiven of the countless sins I've committed.
Then he went on to say something I've never really thought about. How today many people run from the past, but he considers regular reminders as precious because he never wants to forget the great mercy shown! Wow! Changing my mindset to that theology in light of the mistakes I've made in the past doesn't make the memories so painful!
I'm anticipating reading the rest of the book, fo sho!
As for the verses we have to memorize...still working on that lol...when one gets older ones memory isn't what it used to be hehe. But my study of the book of Mark is going well, more on that later :)
6.21.2010
UP from the depths of despair haha
Yeah we all get those down days...days with no motivation, days of loneliness, days where Satan brings the past driving back into one's head at full force. Not a very good day to start off the week I must say, but having a positive attitude of it can only go up from here is one way to beat the monster of despair and gloom. One of the ways, besides my time with my best friend and Savior, is to focus on others... We have a good Reliv friend visiting from Montana this weekend and he has agreed to do a few special events/meetings while he is in the area! It is great for me to be getting into Reliv mode again :) I realize that if I can help people and build up my business here in the States I will be having a double ministry once I am in Africa!
Africa...yeah I went river rafting on Saturday, it was da bomb, anyways while we were hanging out waiting to embark I was talking to our guide, Megan, and she had shared that she went to Kenya a few years ago. She also said that when she went she had envisioned that she would be living there for the next 20 years...but once she was there it became clear that was not what God wanted. Well, I have thought about spending a substantial amount of time in Africa...the be a change, get Reliv to those kids! Guess will have to see what happens next year.
And...today was a day of "I know." I know that all that matters is I do my best to coach for the glory of God whether we win or not. I know that someone making a decision could be a life changing thing and that it will be in God's plan. I know I have to trust Him. I know, I know, I know...but it doesn't change the way I feel. Part of my journey in getting lost in God is turning that knowing into reality...so that knowing it will be enough and change the way I feel and my attitude.
I fail, everyday...I mess up! How God can be so patient is beyond my comprehension. I can barely hold my temper when it comes to my 7 year old brother throwing a water balloon at my head when I'm leaving for work, or dumping soy nuts all over the back of my car, or noisily bouncing off the walls when I trying to talk on the phone, or...well you get the idea. But I continually am doing things like that, well not exactly like that, but you understand what I mean. I forever feel like I am falling before the throne of grace and mercy confessing and repenting. I am so mad at myself for failing in sin over and over. But it is a continual battle, every day, every hour, every minute. I will keep on messing up. Isn't it great that Christ died for your every sin before you even committed it! Ah, just blows my mind! Father forgive me for the minutes I waste for my own pleasure and satisfaction. Humble me and teach me how I can glorify You with my every breath.
What will it look like taking one day at a time, one hour at a time, glorifying Christ alone? Hmm, this girl is on the journey to find out, another peice of the puzzle, another step towards the finish and just another day in pursing to be lost in God.
Africa...yeah I went river rafting on Saturday, it was da bomb, anyways while we were hanging out waiting to embark I was talking to our guide, Megan, and she had shared that she went to Kenya a few years ago. She also said that when she went she had envisioned that she would be living there for the next 20 years...but once she was there it became clear that was not what God wanted. Well, I have thought about spending a substantial amount of time in Africa...the be a change, get Reliv to those kids! Guess will have to see what happens next year.
And...today was a day of "I know." I know that all that matters is I do my best to coach for the glory of God whether we win or not. I know that someone making a decision could be a life changing thing and that it will be in God's plan. I know I have to trust Him. I know, I know, I know...but it doesn't change the way I feel. Part of my journey in getting lost in God is turning that knowing into reality...so that knowing it will be enough and change the way I feel and my attitude.
I fail, everyday...I mess up! How God can be so patient is beyond my comprehension. I can barely hold my temper when it comes to my 7 year old brother throwing a water balloon at my head when I'm leaving for work, or dumping soy nuts all over the back of my car, or noisily bouncing off the walls when I trying to talk on the phone, or...well you get the idea. But I continually am doing things like that, well not exactly like that, but you understand what I mean. I forever feel like I am falling before the throne of grace and mercy confessing and repenting. I am so mad at myself for failing in sin over and over. But it is a continual battle, every day, every hour, every minute. I will keep on messing up. Isn't it great that Christ died for your every sin before you even committed it! Ah, just blows my mind! Father forgive me for the minutes I waste for my own pleasure and satisfaction. Humble me and teach me how I can glorify You with my every breath.
What will it look like taking one day at a time, one hour at a time, glorifying Christ alone? Hmm, this girl is on the journey to find out, another peice of the puzzle, another step towards the finish and just another day in pursing to be lost in God.
6.11.2010
Lost in God: Action Plan
God you have quite a sense of humor...it's funny, I'm sure you laugh at our stupidity and lack of sense. But still love us just the same. I wonder if you throw in those little things that we freak out over, lose sleep over, cry our eyes out over...just for entertainment. Haha...no, just kidding :P It's just a piece of the puzzle you give me and I have to trust You.
Anyways, I have a plan of action to put into practice and live out this summer to start with. I'm kinda borrowing from our church's program "Redeem the Summer" but I've also added a few of my own things...to help me become lost in God...
1. Read the Bible (I plan to study through the book of Mark)
2. Read one good book a month (my church is reading a theology book for June, Biography for July, and Ecclesiology for August...I'll blog about them at the end of the month)
3. Memorize 10 verses (less than one a week! OT: Ex. 33:18-19; Deut. 6:4-7; Ps. 86:11; Isa. 66:2b; Jer. 31:33. NT: Eph. 2:8-9; 2 Cor. 4:6; Phil. 1:27; 1 Pet. 2:9; Matt. 28:18-20).
4. Journal and Discuss my discoveries, questions, and how the Lord convicts, challenges, and encourages me (which I will be using this blog for...the general stuff anyways...and my prayer journal for the deep personal stuff).
So that's what I got so far...and I'm ready to dive in! It's summer! Yay!
Anyways, I have a plan of action to put into practice and live out this summer to start with. I'm kinda borrowing from our church's program "Redeem the Summer" but I've also added a few of my own things...to help me become lost in God...
1. Read the Bible (I plan to study through the book of Mark)
2. Read one good book a month (my church is reading a theology book for June, Biography for July, and Ecclesiology for August...I'll blog about them at the end of the month)
3. Memorize 10 verses (less than one a week! OT: Ex. 33:18-19; Deut. 6:4-7; Ps. 86:11; Isa. 66:2b; Jer. 31:33. NT: Eph. 2:8-9; 2 Cor. 4:6; Phil. 1:27; 1 Pet. 2:9; Matt. 28:18-20).
4. Journal and Discuss my discoveries, questions, and how the Lord convicts, challenges, and encourages me (which I will be using this blog for...the general stuff anyways...and my prayer journal for the deep personal stuff).
So that's what I got so far...and I'm ready to dive in! It's summer! Yay!
6.08.2010
Moving Forward
So much is running through my head right now that I don't even know where to start! My heart feels so full, yet I have a certain peace and calm about me that is so familiar. Tonight is such a clear night that the stars showing off their charm with extra sparkle. I remember when we first moved here to Washington and on beautiful nights like this I would go outside and just look at the stars talking to God. Expressing the joys and groanings of my heart I knew He heard me. I wondered walking in to the house this evening what happened to those times I used to do that? They were so refreshing and restoring to my spirit especially just sitting outside of a house full of people lol. I replaced those starry mountain nights with sunsets on the flat plains Dakota since I had to be in the house at night...but now that I've been home it's had been awhile since those starry night talks with my best friend. I realized that driving home this evening and having to pull over again overcome by emotion (twice in the last month) doesn't seem healthy. But tonight a burden regarding a situation about Reliv weighing on my heart since February has been lifted. I have to keep moving forward! He will be with me! He will give me the words to say! Just keep moving forward Rachel.
Isn't God good? God is good...all the time! Such a simple statement and so easy to forget. Don't know if you have ever experienced hurt and pain so badly in your heart that you could feel it...like physically feel it...I have. I can count them all on one hand so far. Sometimes it lasted longer than other times. Tonight was such a night except it didn't last long, just a moment then I was flooded in healing. And was told to keep moving forward. It was amazing.
In February my wall of belief in Reliv was demolished. It is ironic because at the beginning of that month I was on fire and moving forward! It was awesome :) Then Satan attacked and I fell. So hard that it has taken this long to get back up again unfortunately, but I got up again. I know what I have seen! I know what Reliv can do! But I was letting Satan win and letting him keep trampling me down.
I think that everything coming together for South Africa has been part of building me back up again. If Reliv could get to Africa I truly believe that it will change that country! If God is gonna use me and this upcoming trip to get Reliv over there then I need to stop sitting in my pain and pity and start moving forward. Yeah those people hurt me, but how many more people am I letting continue to live in pain because of one little bruise I received?
They think I'm all about money and using my friends to get rich than they do not know what I am about at all! They have not seen what I have seen! What Reliv is truly about. I've seen grown men cry because they got the wife or child back. I've seen families who had no hope left get another chance. I've seen prevented suicides, people get out of wheelchairs and the list goes on and on! I don't even want to think about where my family would be now if it wasn't for God bringing Reliv into our lives. Jonathan would not be here and my mom might not be either. No, maybe you can't understand...you think ok, that is so wonderful that it worked for me...you don't understand what it felt like to be 15 and the oldest of the family to think that my mom might die and then I would be left to take care of everything. To see my mom in so much pain. Kids shouldn't have to worrying about taking care of their mom.
People don't understand what they have until they lose it. Yeah you feel great and healthy now, but down the road once you lose your quality of life, your health! How much is prevention worth to you? Why wait until you have a problem and then need to take medication, which has horrible side effects then need to take more drugs for those side effects!? That is how it goes! I saw it with my grandpa.
I'm just excited to be a part of this amazing company! To help get this out and nourish the world! People in third world countries are living off of Reliv, it is all they have to survive! They don't complain about the taste, they are just thankful to even get any that day. My heart is truly to help people. It has been such a blessing when someone who I told about Reliv is not living in pain anymore.
And once I get this going I will have a double ministry! That is what I'm most excited about :) I will be helping alot of people here in the US and then use that support over in Africa! :D I think that overwhelming feeling I got tonight was God trying to tell me something and I think the message got through :)
So here I go, moving forward, one day at a time :)
Isn't God good? God is good...all the time! Such a simple statement and so easy to forget. Don't know if you have ever experienced hurt and pain so badly in your heart that you could feel it...like physically feel it...I have. I can count them all on one hand so far. Sometimes it lasted longer than other times. Tonight was such a night except it didn't last long, just a moment then I was flooded in healing. And was told to keep moving forward. It was amazing.
In February my wall of belief in Reliv was demolished. It is ironic because at the beginning of that month I was on fire and moving forward! It was awesome :) Then Satan attacked and I fell. So hard that it has taken this long to get back up again unfortunately, but I got up again. I know what I have seen! I know what Reliv can do! But I was letting Satan win and letting him keep trampling me down.
I think that everything coming together for South Africa has been part of building me back up again. If Reliv could get to Africa I truly believe that it will change that country! If God is gonna use me and this upcoming trip to get Reliv over there then I need to stop sitting in my pain and pity and start moving forward. Yeah those people hurt me, but how many more people am I letting continue to live in pain because of one little bruise I received?
They think I'm all about money and using my friends to get rich than they do not know what I am about at all! They have not seen what I have seen! What Reliv is truly about. I've seen grown men cry because they got the wife or child back. I've seen families who had no hope left get another chance. I've seen prevented suicides, people get out of wheelchairs and the list goes on and on! I don't even want to think about where my family would be now if it wasn't for God bringing Reliv into our lives. Jonathan would not be here and my mom might not be either. No, maybe you can't understand...you think ok, that is so wonderful that it worked for me...you don't understand what it felt like to be 15 and the oldest of the family to think that my mom might die and then I would be left to take care of everything. To see my mom in so much pain. Kids shouldn't have to worrying about taking care of their mom.
People don't understand what they have until they lose it. Yeah you feel great and healthy now, but down the road once you lose your quality of life, your health! How much is prevention worth to you? Why wait until you have a problem and then need to take medication, which has horrible side effects then need to take more drugs for those side effects!? That is how it goes! I saw it with my grandpa.
I'm just excited to be a part of this amazing company! To help get this out and nourish the world! People in third world countries are living off of Reliv, it is all they have to survive! They don't complain about the taste, they are just thankful to even get any that day. My heart is truly to help people. It has been such a blessing when someone who I told about Reliv is not living in pain anymore.
And once I get this going I will have a double ministry! That is what I'm most excited about :) I will be helping alot of people here in the US and then use that support over in Africa! :D I think that overwhelming feeling I got tonight was God trying to tell me something and I think the message got through :)
So here I go, moving forward, one day at a time :)
6.02.2010
Think of You
The song in my heart right now...at first I thought he was singing about a girl until I read the whole lyrics and at the end he sings about the Way, Truth, and Life and Your Spirit...and if you notice the "Y" in you in capitalized. He is singing about Jesus.
When I'm lost, you bring me back
When I cry, you make me glad
When I think I have it bad
I think of You
When I don't know where to go
And I feel like I'm alone
When I hang my head down low
I think of You
Each night You wait outside my door
Cause You want to know, I think of You...
When I fall into a snare
And it's all too much to bear
When I think nobody cares
I think of You
When the going's getting tough
And I feel like giving up
When I think I've had enough
I think of You
You've always been and You'll always be
Even to the end, I'll think of You
You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life
And I'll follow You...
When it's time to say goodbye
And a tear wells in my eye
I can hold my head up high
When I think of You
My flesh is weak, but Your Spirit wills
That my heart and mind, will think of You
When I'm lost, you bring me back
When I cry, you make me glad
When I think I have it bad
I think of You
When I don't know where to go
And I feel like I'm alone
When I hang my head down low
I think of You
Each night You wait outside my door
Cause You want to know, I think of You...
When I fall into a snare
And it's all too much to bear
When I think nobody cares
I think of You
When the going's getting tough
And I feel like giving up
When I think I've had enough
I think of You
You've always been and You'll always be
Even to the end, I'll think of You
You are the Way, the Truth, and the Life
And I'll follow You...
When it's time to say goodbye
And a tear wells in my eye
I can hold my head up high
When I think of You
My flesh is weak, but Your Spirit wills
That my heart and mind, will think of You
4.25.2010
at this time last year....
How quickly a year flies by...hmm. At this time last year, I was in South Dakota....at this time last year, on this day, I took Grandpa to the hospital....at this time last year, this coming Tuesday, Grandpa went to the nursing home...at this time last year, on Friday, me and Grandma drove grandpa to the doctor, back to the nursing home, then went home....and got the call the he wasn't on this Earth anymore....at this time last year, this coming weekend and week....I think I felt almost every emotion....sadness, happiness, hurt, anger, joy, played the 'if only' game, and placed blame. Grandpa is in no more pain now. Why do I keep getting sad? Why do I keep wishing I had more time? Why am I blaming myself...if only I would of taken better care of him, just had taken him home with me, so he could of died on the farm instead of in some stuffy, smelly nursing home room...all alone...but God is Sovereign....God is Sovereign....God is Sovereign....and I will keep telling myself this until I don't hurt anymore.....
4.17.2010
Dream: a strongly desired goal or purpose
What is God impressing on my heart? I can feel it...it grows stronger and stronger. At times I feel like I am running out of time until I slow down to think and remember that His timing and His plan is perfect. I hold in my heart a dream, a beautiful dream only I can imagine, a dream only God can fulfill. Times come where I am down, but I still dream. I don't think I know what that dream is, I feel like it's coming to me now...what is it? It is in the secret part of me...when will it happen? Why does it feel so strongly impressed upon me at this moment...is it because the more I talk of it out loud the more I feel I can achieve it...but do I even know what it is?
3.24.2010
I don't know
I don't know what to do. In this state of mind I'm stuck. I do know that God is faithful and I need to put my trust in Him. That when I do trust Him, He will give me the desires of my heart, and that the desires of my heart should align with God's agenda. What are the desires of my heart? Dare I dream? Dare I pursue the desires of my heart. My hopes. My dreams and ambitions. Is what I want just an ambition or a calling? How can I know when I feel torn between so many things that I want and that I feel. The spirit is willing but but the flesh is weak, oh how true. Is it wrong to want to do something great instead of just, what I feel, is the average? And is this great thing that I long for just an ambition or destiny? No, it is more then ambition. But how come I can't seem to go towards it? I feel like I should be moving forward to grasping instead of remaining in the same place every day. I want to go out and experience life. What kind of life? The life where I'm not stuck in a day to day schedule. A life where every day is filled with challenges, difficulties, and even danger. Can I have that life here or do I need to go somewhere else? Shouldn't everyday be like that for me in my walk with Christ? Do I make it to easy? Is God teaching me contentment once again...I want to feel the things that are right and moral...if I'm supposed to be content does that mean I'm supposed to settle? Ahhhh this wild passion I have has been contained for so long but recent events have stirred it up again even to a greater burning in my heart. Show me the way to go Heavenly Father. I cry out to You for help. I will do whatever You ask of me, that is and will always be my deepest desire.
3.10.2010
2AM prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
You are teaching me so much I long to take it all in and meditate on it for weeks. How is it that my desire is to be closer to You, but can't seem to make time for You? Am I so shallow...can You occupy my deepest emotions, my subconscious thoughts that seem trapped in the filth and dirt of the empty lust and passions of my life? That would be so incredible! My heart if so full just thinking about it! Oh how wonderful that would be!
There is so much that I want to do, so many wishes and dreams...the thing is that I am scared to write them down, to speak of them aloud, for fear that I will fail, that I can never accomplish those dreams. Are these dreams aligned with Your agenda for my life? Why do I fear to moving forward? Father, You are so faithful to me, You never fail to remind me of Your Sovereignty. I want You to use me for Your work, for Your glory...but I have to much fear. I can't win on my own. Help me to fight this battle and to not give in...I do it everyday! Is my desire strong enough...how can I get up and tie my goals deeply, strongly, tightly, to my core values and deepest emotions? At the point I was so fearless a month ago, Satan came in and knocked me down...I'm letting him win, I'm stuck and can't move forward. I don't want him to win. Oh how I long to get back to the fearless passion I had. I really believe in this and know there is so much I can do for You through it...to really help people. But what is stopping me?
Can I live beyond the past? Will you help me feel like I am worth it? Take all of me. Why did I let Satan win? Why did I give in? How come I let my guard down and throw it all away? You know my heart Lord, oh how You know it. You know where my thinking is regarding starting over. I can't. As of now there is no way I can see anyone seeing me as worth it. I won't do it again. I can't. The irony of it all makes me laugh. Ha!
But I won't let Satan win! I won't continue living for what was last year. It is passed me now and I resolve to stay as I am, my life is Yours and I am content. And I will be content to be satisfied in You alone and no other person. Now indeed with the clock proceeding into the earliest hours of morning I can now rest in peace. You hear my prayer, You know my heart, and You love me. That is all that matters.
You are teaching me so much I long to take it all in and meditate on it for weeks. How is it that my desire is to be closer to You, but can't seem to make time for You? Am I so shallow...can You occupy my deepest emotions, my subconscious thoughts that seem trapped in the filth and dirt of the empty lust and passions of my life? That would be so incredible! My heart if so full just thinking about it! Oh how wonderful that would be!
There is so much that I want to do, so many wishes and dreams...the thing is that I am scared to write them down, to speak of them aloud, for fear that I will fail, that I can never accomplish those dreams. Are these dreams aligned with Your agenda for my life? Why do I fear to moving forward? Father, You are so faithful to me, You never fail to remind me of Your Sovereignty. I want You to use me for Your work, for Your glory...but I have to much fear. I can't win on my own. Help me to fight this battle and to not give in...I do it everyday! Is my desire strong enough...how can I get up and tie my goals deeply, strongly, tightly, to my core values and deepest emotions? At the point I was so fearless a month ago, Satan came in and knocked me down...I'm letting him win, I'm stuck and can't move forward. I don't want him to win. Oh how I long to get back to the fearless passion I had. I really believe in this and know there is so much I can do for You through it...to really help people. But what is stopping me?
Can I live beyond the past? Will you help me feel like I am worth it? Take all of me. Why did I let Satan win? Why did I give in? How come I let my guard down and throw it all away? You know my heart Lord, oh how You know it. You know where my thinking is regarding starting over. I can't. As of now there is no way I can see anyone seeing me as worth it. I won't do it again. I can't. The irony of it all makes me laugh. Ha!
But I won't let Satan win! I won't continue living for what was last year. It is passed me now and I resolve to stay as I am, my life is Yours and I am content. And I will be content to be satisfied in You alone and no other person. Now indeed with the clock proceeding into the earliest hours of morning I can now rest in peace. You hear my prayer, You know my heart, and You love me. That is all that matters.
3.06.2010
Africa
Well, yesterday, March 5, was the one year mark since God told me to go to Africa and I said yes. I still remember it so clearly in my mind, the place, the feeling I felt...it was so certain. On that night one year ago I was in South Dakota and I was taking my usually walk at sunset around the farm just talking to God and thoughts going back to the video that I watched about this kid in Africa a few days earlier at a college bible study. It had really gotten to me.
My heart has always longed for mission work overseas since I was 10, but never a specific place. That night it became so clear to me! God wants me in Africa! This is the one thing I am positively certain of! And God-willing I may be there at this time next year. My heart is full, about to burst! It is slowly starting to come together! Even though times may come when it seems uncertain. I will always cling to the day I said yes and go back to March 5, 2009 and remember that night and know with certainty :)
My heart has always longed for mission work overseas since I was 10, but never a specific place. That night it became so clear to me! God wants me in Africa! This is the one thing I am positively certain of! And God-willing I may be there at this time next year. My heart is full, about to burst! It is slowly starting to come together! Even though times may come when it seems uncertain. I will always cling to the day I said yes and go back to March 5, 2009 and remember that night and know with certainty :)
7.08.2009
Reliv N.O.W. (Nourishing Our World)
Well, there has been such a huge gap of time from my April post til now, so much has happened it would take awhile to write it all. I think that I'll just write from the this present time and if stuff comes up from the past that needs to be mentioned then I will do so.
I'm coaching swim team again this year. I can't believe that it is almost half way over! After this week there is only 2 weeks left! When swim team is over I won't be working at the pool anymore as a lifeguard. I have been praying and certain situations have presented themselves that have push me away and convinced me that it's time to leave the pool go.
I will start working full-time in Reliv! God has been pulling me closer and closer to it, and the final confirming thing that happened is my boyfriend, Daniel, wants to do it too...I am just so excited to be able to help people with their health and finances! I will be able to earn an amazing income if I work hard enough. When Daniel and I get married we will be together in everything! Instead of going to work separate jobs forty hours a week for the next forty years of our lives we will be working along side each other helping people, which we both love to do!!! We can both be stay at home parents and be able to will our income to our children after we are gone!
I am so excited for what this year will bring...there are still some uncertainties, but God is faithful and I fully trust His timing! :)
I'm coaching swim team again this year. I can't believe that it is almost half way over! After this week there is only 2 weeks left! When swim team is over I won't be working at the pool anymore as a lifeguard. I have been praying and certain situations have presented themselves that have push me away and convinced me that it's time to leave the pool go.
I will start working full-time in Reliv! God has been pulling me closer and closer to it, and the final confirming thing that happened is my boyfriend, Daniel, wants to do it too...I am just so excited to be able to help people with their health and finances! I will be able to earn an amazing income if I work hard enough. When Daniel and I get married we will be together in everything! Instead of going to work separate jobs forty hours a week for the next forty years of our lives we will be working along side each other helping people, which we both love to do!!! We can both be stay at home parents and be able to will our income to our children after we are gone!
I am so excited for what this year will bring...there are still some uncertainties, but God is faithful and I fully trust His timing! :)
7.04.2009
Yep! I'm still alive!
Haven't posted in like 3 months! Wowza!
It is interesting how God works. I reflect over my time in South Dakota and all that happened...I still cling to my Savior through it all. Grandpa past away a week after my last post. Today I just feel really sad...the 4th of July we always went to the farm.
Summer has been going pretty good...will write more soon :)
Happy 4th of July! God please bless America, though we don't deserve it. Forgive our nation. Let us seek after you.
It is interesting how God works. I reflect over my time in South Dakota and all that happened...I still cling to my Savior through it all. Grandpa past away a week after my last post. Today I just feel really sad...the 4th of July we always went to the farm.
Summer has been going pretty good...will write more soon :)
Happy 4th of July! God please bless America, though we don't deserve it. Forgive our nation. Let us seek after you.
4.25.2009
=D
Wow. God is awesome. Final answer.
He is continually knocking me in the head. HELLO! He never ceases to amaze me. Why do I ever doubt...geez! Anyways, the burden of my attitude is gone and one other matter is on the mend. WOW! Seriously...within the matter of a day, after months of having to struggle and endure...gone...just like that! He knows when I am ready for another piece of the puzzle of my life. Yeah, God is awesome.
Faithfully, He shows me, piece by piece.
He is continually knocking me in the head. HELLO! He never ceases to amaze me. Why do I ever doubt...geez! Anyways, the burden of my attitude is gone and one other matter is on the mend. WOW! Seriously...within the matter of a day, after months of having to struggle and endure...gone...just like that! He knows when I am ready for another piece of the puzzle of my life. Yeah, God is awesome.
Faithfully, He shows me, piece by piece.
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