Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.


at this time last year....

How quickly a year flies by...hmm. At this time last year, I was in South this time last year, on this day, I took Grandpa to the this time last year, this coming Tuesday, Grandpa went to the nursing this time last year, on Friday, me and Grandma drove grandpa to the doctor, back to the nursing home, then went home....and got the call the he wasn't on this Earth this time last year, this coming weekend and week....I think I felt almost every emotion....sadness, happiness, hurt, anger, joy, played the 'if only' game, and placed blame. Grandpa is in no more pain now. Why do I keep getting sad? Why do I keep wishing I had more time? Why am I blaming myself...if only I would of taken better care of him, just had taken him home with me, so he could of died on the farm instead of in some stuffy, smelly nursing home room...all alone...but God is Sovereign....God is Sovereign....God is Sovereign....and I will keep telling myself this until I don't  hurt anymore.....


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  2. Rachel, you'll be spending eternity with your grandfather one day. :) God allows things to happen, and this was just your grandfathers time... I know it's hard! I've lost both of mine in the past 4 years, but I also know that eternity is a much longer time than the little bit of time we'll be spending here on earth.

    Stop playing the "if only game" because if it was his time, then there was nothing that you could have done to change the end result anyways. God has a plan for us all, and God figured it was time for your grandfather to get his rewards in heaven :) Just think about how happy he is right now! So happy, we can't even comprehend! He is with GOD!

    I have no doubt that he wouldn't want you to be sad about all of this Rachel, he'd want you to rejoice in the knowledge that he is in Heaven, with our creator :) This is a time to celebrate the fact that he was indeed a Christian - he was indeed saved! Saved by the blood of the one pure, unblemished lamb. :)

  3. Darn it... wish it didn't show I posted and deleted it :( I was just fixing a typo xD

  4. I know...I know...I just wish knowing would steal away the deepest deep sadness I feel. I'll be fine...I've been able to be missing him and still get through my day.