last night was an encouragement to me from talking to my mom...she had read what i wrote on 1.31.09 and had told me she thought that is not what God wants for me...remaining single. And that He is just telling me to remain satisfied in Him at this time right now. Until I am restored and totally healed. That I should not go into a relationship or marriage carrying all of it with me because it could be harmful to the relationship. I must say that totally falling fully on God to find satisfaction is way more restoring then seeking it else where! I love mom so much, she is the most amazing person.
...but before that i was told something that made me ache inside for my mom. it made me want to go home right away to be with my family. i have been in constant prayer ever since i hung up with her and i didn't get right to sleep either. I know that only God can work in this situation...although it is extremely hard. That is all i can say about it though.