I have strep throat. It is not cool. It is not fun. It hurts really, really bad! ARGH!!!
1.27.2008
1.17.2008
1.04.2008
it is a new year...
hey...can't sleep so thought I would write. I have been thinking on alot of things, so many things going through my head right now(that's probably why I can't sleep...lol...or because I had a latte at 11, haha).
I can blame it on the New Year, cause I am sure it makes alot of people think about the year that has past and the one that is beginning. So with that said I am just going to go off on alot of tangents and probably won't make any sense at all, but hey, it's 2 o'clock in the morning.
The Year That Has Past: this year has been pretty much amazing! 2007 was a BIG learning year with lots happening! It started out with my dog dying, but then I witness the amazing miracle of my baby brother being born, then praying hard when he was flow to the Children's Hospital. That was January and February. March through May were pretty okay. I went through the process of restoring a friendship and getting over the hurt of another relationship. Summer was the best!!! Coaching swim team and working at the pool. Going on some awesome hikes which I am going to do alot more off this year. During and after summer was when God was teaching me contentment. And in one situation I learned the hard way that I should have listened to when He was telling me what I should do. Before school started in September I went through a really hard time of feeling insignificant, but alas another learning time for me. Then ending the quarter and going into winter break went pretty smoothly. Around Christmas was the scare with my Grandpa, which by the way he is doing well and has 5-6 more years. Let me tell you though, driving 22 hours there then 3 days later doing it again it pretty fun...lol j/k...but I enjoy driving and had alot of time to think and pray while I did. To end with God has blessed me with soooooo many new amazing friends that i thank Him for everyday!!!
The Year That Is Beginning: so 2008 is planned out in my book (but not GOD's) until fall. I will finish my AA degree and become certified as an EMT(if all goes as planned) work at the pool again in the summer. Hike alot and alot and alot!!! then I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT! I have thought on a few options though...a year at bible college, take a career as an EMT, or go overseas with Orphans Hope! Now i can say that I am not worrying about it...alot can happen in a year and it can be nothing I expect. I know that (and have learned the hard way at some points) that if I just trust Jesus with every aspect and detail of my life...He will take care of the rest. I trust His leadership in my life and I realize the big decisions coming up in my life and how important the next couple of years will be.
otay, otay...sorry thats enough...I think I have bored you enough...lol, just wanted to share! Well, I think that either the latte is wearing off or some of my thoughts are now written down so my head ain't spinnin' no more, which ever it is I am going to sleep now!Goodnight! :-)
I can blame it on the New Year, cause I am sure it makes alot of people think about the year that has past and the one that is beginning. So with that said I am just going to go off on alot of tangents and probably won't make any sense at all, but hey, it's 2 o'clock in the morning.
The Year That Has Past: this year has been pretty much amazing! 2007 was a BIG learning year with lots happening! It started out with my dog dying, but then I witness the amazing miracle of my baby brother being born, then praying hard when he was flow to the Children's Hospital. That was January and February. March through May were pretty okay. I went through the process of restoring a friendship and getting over the hurt of another relationship. Summer was the best!!! Coaching swim team and working at the pool. Going on some awesome hikes which I am going to do alot more off this year. During and after summer was when God was teaching me contentment. And in one situation I learned the hard way that I should have listened to when He was telling me what I should do. Before school started in September I went through a really hard time of feeling insignificant, but alas another learning time for me. Then ending the quarter and going into winter break went pretty smoothly. Around Christmas was the scare with my Grandpa, which by the way he is doing well and has 5-6 more years. Let me tell you though, driving 22 hours there then 3 days later doing it again it pretty fun...lol j/k...but I enjoy driving and had alot of time to think and pray while I did. To end with God has blessed me with soooooo many new amazing friends that i thank Him for everyday!!!
The Year That Is Beginning: so 2008 is planned out in my book (but not GOD's) until fall. I will finish my AA degree and become certified as an EMT(if all goes as planned) work at the pool again in the summer. Hike alot and alot and alot!!! then I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT! I have thought on a few options though...a year at bible college, take a career as an EMT, or go overseas with Orphans Hope! Now i can say that I am not worrying about it...alot can happen in a year and it can be nothing I expect. I know that (and have learned the hard way at some points) that if I just trust Jesus with every aspect and detail of my life...He will take care of the rest. I trust His leadership in my life and I realize the big decisions coming up in my life and how important the next couple of years will be.
otay, otay...sorry thats enough...I think I have bored you enough...lol, just wanted to share! Well, I think that either the latte is wearing off or some of my thoughts are now written down so my head ain't spinnin' no more, which ever it is I am going to sleep now!Goodnight! :-)
12.13.2007
lust
these are my notes from Fike Club the other night...and I must add that even though Terry really stressed this on the guys...it was just what I needed to hear also because us girls do struggle too!
Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin. 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
My own prayer...
Father, I confess my sins to You and plead forgiveness! Holy Spirit please take my thoughts and feelings, may I go with your leading. Take my heart sweet Jesus, I give it to You! Be my strength in my temptations...fill my head with thoughts of You...fill my heart with feelings for You! i love you my great God.
Matthew 5:27-28
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
- you can't control the chemical reaction, but you can control the outward reaction.
- address the issues of the heart...for where your heart is there your treasure will be also.
- thoughts and feelings make terrible masters...partner with the Holy Spirit and turn your will over to Jesus, not your thoughts and feelings.
- following the Holy Spirit transforms your thoughts and feelings to be of the Holy Spirit, only then I can act upon them.
For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. 15 For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. 16 If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. 19 For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. 20 Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. 21 I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. 22 For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. 23 But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. 24 O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? 25 I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin. 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.
- the battle between the flesh and spirit cannot be won by our own will-power, but it can be won with the power of the Holy Spirit.
15 Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. 17 And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
- lust of the eyes: seeing things and wanting them more the God...ETC.
- lust of the flesh: comforts, sexual, relationships, ETC.
- boastful pride of life: stuff, achievements, position, ETC.
12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. 13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.
- the initial action of lust is not sin...moving from current reality to fantasy...that is when you sin.
- fantasy then could become reality...then one prefers fantasy from reality.
16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
My own prayer...
Father, I confess my sins to You and plead forgiveness! Holy Spirit please take my thoughts and feelings, may I go with your leading. Take my heart sweet Jesus, I give it to You! Be my strength in my temptations...fill my head with thoughts of You...fill my heart with feelings for You! i love you my great God.
12.11.2007
hmm...
Isn’t it amazing how God works!?! First I didn’t want to get married and God worked on my heart in that situation, now that I have that desire to have a family, right now, there is no road leading that way as of now. I have been thinking a lot about being in a relationship and observing others around me and my friends, I can see, and do realize how much work it takes! There is so much one has to put into a relationship! But I do desire to someday have one and in that relationship be glorifying God.
Also, I realize that this is not something I should be focusing on…God has been teaching me some amazing things and I need to focus more on Him and loving Him. So, I can truly say that I am glad not to be in a relationship, right now, because I think it might get in the way of what God has to teach me. It is not easy though…seeing my friends and other seem happy with their significant other is hard and sometimes I feel a loneliness that sometimes God can’t fill….but that’s another thing I need to learn. I shouldn’t need a guy to complete me and fill that loneliness and I need to have my Father do this before I can meet someone.
Maybe that is why God hasn’t brought anyone into my life for so long…sure I’ve had two “relationships” that didn’t work out, but I learned so much from the few months each of those existed. And was so thankful to Jesus for guarding my heart and I only needed to get those guys out of my head…my heart is still whole and waiting to fully be given to the one God has for me.
In conclusion, I am, I can say right now, fully content. It isn’t like this every day, but I realize that it is okay. I don’t know how long it will be until I do marry, but I glad to live for God’s glory where ever He has me.
Also, I realize that this is not something I should be focusing on…God has been teaching me some amazing things and I need to focus more on Him and loving Him. So, I can truly say that I am glad not to be in a relationship, right now, because I think it might get in the way of what God has to teach me. It is not easy though…seeing my friends and other seem happy with their significant other is hard and sometimes I feel a loneliness that sometimes God can’t fill….but that’s another thing I need to learn. I shouldn’t need a guy to complete me and fill that loneliness and I need to have my Father do this before I can meet someone.
Maybe that is why God hasn’t brought anyone into my life for so long…sure I’ve had two “relationships” that didn’t work out, but I learned so much from the few months each of those existed. And was so thankful to Jesus for guarding my heart and I only needed to get those guys out of my head…my heart is still whole and waiting to fully be given to the one God has for me.
In conclusion, I am, I can say right now, fully content. It isn’t like this every day, but I realize that it is okay. I don’t know how long it will be until I do marry, but I glad to live for God’s glory where ever He has me.
breathe...
Argh! I cannot do this anymore! It is so stupid! And I will not do it anymore either. I am done.
Whew! So glad it is over with. Now I can breathe again...breathe, just breathe...
breathe...
just breathe...
Whew! So glad it is over with. Now I can breathe again...breathe, just breathe...
breathe...
just breathe...
12.02.2007
11.26.2007
Thinking about my Jesus
Terry read this story at Fike Club...then on Thanksgiving I read it to my family. I still can't read it without getting emotional every time. How can someone be strong enough to do this!?! I am now trying hard, and it is my desire, to think about my Jesus...and how He has been oh so good to me!
Mabel's Story
It can be helpful to see how God brings about transformation in the lives of ordinary people, so I would like to introduce you to a friend of a friend of mine. Her name is Mabel. This is what my friend, Tom Schmidt, wrote:
“The state-run convalescent hospital is not a pleasant place. It is large, understaffed, and overfilled with senile and helpless and lonely people who are waiting to die. On the brightest of days it seems dark inside, and it smells of sickness and stale urine. I went there once or twice a week for four years, but I never wanted to go there, and I always left with a sense of relief. It is not the kind of place one gets used to.
“On this particular day I was walking in a hallway that I had not visited before, looking in vain for a few who were alive enough to receive a flower and a few words of encouragement. This hallway seemed to contain some of the worst cases, strapped onto carts or into wheelchairs and looking completely helpless.
“As I neared the end of this hallway, I saw an old woman strapped up in a wheelchair. Her face was an absolute horror. The empty stare and white pupils of her eyes told me that she was blind. The large hearing aid over one ear told me that she was almost deaf. One side of her face was being eaten by cancer. There was a discolored and running sore covering part of one cheek, and it had pushed her nose to one side, dropped one eye, and distorted her jaw so that what should have been the corner of her mouth was the bottom of her mouth. As a consequence, she drooled constantly. I was told later that when new nurses arrived, the supervisors would send them to feed this woman, thinking that if they could stand this sight they could stand anything in the building. I also learned later that this woman was eighty-nine years old and that she had been here, bedridden, blind, nearly deaf, and alone, for twenty-five years. This was Mabel.
“I don’t know why I spoke to her—she looked less likely to respond than most of the people I saw in that hallway. But I put a flower in her hand and said, ‘Here is a flower for you. Happy Mother’s Day.’ She held the flower up to her face and tried to smell it, and then she spoke. And much to my surprise, her words, although somewhat garbled because of her deformity, were obviously produced by a clear mind. She said, ‘Thank you. It’s lovely. But can I give it to someone else? I can’t see it, you know, I’m blind.’
“I said, ‘Of course,’ and I pushed her in her chair back down the hallway to a place where I thought I could find some alert patients. I found one, and I stopped the chair. Mabel held out the flower and said, ‘Here, this is from Jesus.’
“That was when it began to dawn on me that this was not an ordinary human being. Later I wheeled her back to her room and learned more about her history. She had grown up on a small farm that she managed with only her mother until her mother died. Then she ran the farm alone until 1950 when her blindness and sickness sent her to the convalescent hospital. For twenty-five years she got weaker and sicker, with constant headaches, backaches, and stomachaches, and then the cancer came too. Her three roommates were all human vegetables who screamed occasionally but never talked. They often soiled their bedclothes, and because the hospital was understaffed, especially on Sundays when I usually visited, the stench was often overpowering.
“Mabel and I became friends over the next few weeks, and I went to see her once or twice a week for the next three years. Her first words to me were usually an offer of hard candy from a tissue box near her bed. Some days I would read to her from the Bible, and often when I would pause she would continue reciting the passage from memory, word-for-word. On other days I would take a book of hymns and sing with her, and she would know all the words of the old songs. For Mabel, these were not merely exercises in memory. She would often stop in mid-hymn and make a brief comment about lyrics she considered particularly relevant to her own situation. I never heard her speak of loneliness or pain except in the stress she placed on certain lines in certain hymns.
“It was not many weeks before I turned from a sense that I was being helpful to a sense of wonder, and I would go to her with a pen and paper to write down the things she would say. . . .
“During one hectic week of final exams I was frustrated because my mind seemed to be pulled in ten directions at once with all of the things that I had to think about. The question occurred to me,
‘What does Mabel have to think about—hour after hour, day after day, week after week, not even able to know if it’s day or night?’ So I went to her and asked, ‘Mabel, what do you think about when you lie here?’
“And she said, ‘I think about my Jesus.’
“I sat there, and thought for a moment about the difficulty, for me, of thinking about Jesus for even five minutes, and I asked, ‘What do you think about Jesus?’ She replied slowly and deliberately as I wrote . . . : I think about how good he’s been to me. He’s been awfully good to me in my life, you know. . . . I’m one of those kind who’s mostly satisfied. . . . Lots of folks wouldn’t care much for what I think. Lots of folks would think I’m kind of oldfashioned. But I don’t care. I’d rather have Jesus. He’s all the world to me.
“And then Mabel began to sing an old hymn:
Jesus is all the world to me,
My life, my joy, my all.
He is my strength from day to day,
Without him I would fall.
When I am sad, to him I go,
No other one can cheer me so.
When I am sad He makes me glad.
He’s my friend.
“This is not fiction. Incredible as it may seem, a human being really lived like this. I know. I knew her. How could she do it? Seconds ticked and minutes crawled, and so did days and weeks and months and years of pain without human company and without an explanation of why it was all happening—and she lay there and sang hymns. How could she do it?
“The answer, I think, is that Mabel had something that you and I don’t have much of. She had power. Lying there in that bed, unable to move, unable to see, unable to hear, unable to talk to anyone, she had incredible power.”
Here was an ordinary human being who received supernatural power to do extraordinary things. Her entire life consisted of following Jesus as best she could in her situation: patient endurance of suffering, solitude, prayer, meditation on Scripture, worship, fellowship when it was possible, giving when she had a flower or a piece of candy to offer.
Imagine being in her condition and saying, “I think about how good he’s been to me. He’s been awfully good to me in my life, you know. . . . I’m one of those kind who’s mostly satisfied.” This is the Twenty-third Psalm come to life: “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.”
For anyone who really saw Mabel—who was willing to “turn aside”—a hospital bed became a burning bush; a place where this ordinary and pain-filled world was visited by the presence of God. When others saw the life in that hospital bed, they wanted to take off their shoes. The lid was off the terrarium. Then the turn came, with a catch of the breath, and a beating of the heart, and tears. They were standing on holy ground.
Do you believe such a life is possible for an ordinary human being? Do you believe it is possible for you? This is promised in the gospel—the Good News proclaimed by Jesus: “The kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.” The good news as Jesus preached it is that now it is possible for ordinary men and women to live in the presence and under the power of God. The good news as Jesus preached it is not about the minimal entrance requirements for getting into heaven when you die. It is about the glorious redemption of human life—your life.
Mabel's Story
It can be helpful to see how God brings about transformation in the lives of ordinary people, so I would like to introduce you to a friend of a friend of mine. Her name is Mabel. This is what my friend, Tom Schmidt, wrote:
“The state-run convalescent hospital is not a pleasant place. It is large, understaffed, and overfilled with senile and helpless and lonely people who are waiting to die. On the brightest of days it seems dark inside, and it smells of sickness and stale urine. I went there once or twice a week for four years, but I never wanted to go there, and I always left with a sense of relief. It is not the kind of place one gets used to.
“On this particular day I was walking in a hallway that I had not visited before, looking in vain for a few who were alive enough to receive a flower and a few words of encouragement. This hallway seemed to contain some of the worst cases, strapped onto carts or into wheelchairs and looking completely helpless.
“As I neared the end of this hallway, I saw an old woman strapped up in a wheelchair. Her face was an absolute horror. The empty stare and white pupils of her eyes told me that she was blind. The large hearing aid over one ear told me that she was almost deaf. One side of her face was being eaten by cancer. There was a discolored and running sore covering part of one cheek, and it had pushed her nose to one side, dropped one eye, and distorted her jaw so that what should have been the corner of her mouth was the bottom of her mouth. As a consequence, she drooled constantly. I was told later that when new nurses arrived, the supervisors would send them to feed this woman, thinking that if they could stand this sight they could stand anything in the building. I also learned later that this woman was eighty-nine years old and that she had been here, bedridden, blind, nearly deaf, and alone, for twenty-five years. This was Mabel.
“I don’t know why I spoke to her—she looked less likely to respond than most of the people I saw in that hallway. But I put a flower in her hand and said, ‘Here is a flower for you. Happy Mother’s Day.’ She held the flower up to her face and tried to smell it, and then she spoke. And much to my surprise, her words, although somewhat garbled because of her deformity, were obviously produced by a clear mind. She said, ‘Thank you. It’s lovely. But can I give it to someone else? I can’t see it, you know, I’m blind.’
“I said, ‘Of course,’ and I pushed her in her chair back down the hallway to a place where I thought I could find some alert patients. I found one, and I stopped the chair. Mabel held out the flower and said, ‘Here, this is from Jesus.’
“That was when it began to dawn on me that this was not an ordinary human being. Later I wheeled her back to her room and learned more about her history. She had grown up on a small farm that she managed with only her mother until her mother died. Then she ran the farm alone until 1950 when her blindness and sickness sent her to the convalescent hospital. For twenty-five years she got weaker and sicker, with constant headaches, backaches, and stomachaches, and then the cancer came too. Her three roommates were all human vegetables who screamed occasionally but never talked. They often soiled their bedclothes, and because the hospital was understaffed, especially on Sundays when I usually visited, the stench was often overpowering.
“Mabel and I became friends over the next few weeks, and I went to see her once or twice a week for the next three years. Her first words to me were usually an offer of hard candy from a tissue box near her bed. Some days I would read to her from the Bible, and often when I would pause she would continue reciting the passage from memory, word-for-word. On other days I would take a book of hymns and sing with her, and she would know all the words of the old songs. For Mabel, these were not merely exercises in memory. She would often stop in mid-hymn and make a brief comment about lyrics she considered particularly relevant to her own situation. I never heard her speak of loneliness or pain except in the stress she placed on certain lines in certain hymns.
“It was not many weeks before I turned from a sense that I was being helpful to a sense of wonder, and I would go to her with a pen and paper to write down the things she would say. . . .
“During one hectic week of final exams I was frustrated because my mind seemed to be pulled in ten directions at once with all of the things that I had to think about. The question occurred to me,
‘What does Mabel have to think about—hour after hour, day after day, week after week, not even able to know if it’s day or night?’ So I went to her and asked, ‘Mabel, what do you think about when you lie here?’
“And she said, ‘I think about my Jesus.’
“I sat there, and thought for a moment about the difficulty, for me, of thinking about Jesus for even five minutes, and I asked, ‘What do you think about Jesus?’ She replied slowly and deliberately as I wrote . . . : I think about how good he’s been to me. He’s been awfully good to me in my life, you know. . . . I’m one of those kind who’s mostly satisfied. . . . Lots of folks wouldn’t care much for what I think. Lots of folks would think I’m kind of oldfashioned. But I don’t care. I’d rather have Jesus. He’s all the world to me.
“And then Mabel began to sing an old hymn:
Jesus is all the world to me,
My life, my joy, my all.
He is my strength from day to day,
Without him I would fall.
When I am sad, to him I go,
No other one can cheer me so.
When I am sad He makes me glad.
He’s my friend.
“This is not fiction. Incredible as it may seem, a human being really lived like this. I know. I knew her. How could she do it? Seconds ticked and minutes crawled, and so did days and weeks and months and years of pain without human company and without an explanation of why it was all happening—and she lay there and sang hymns. How could she do it?
“The answer, I think, is that Mabel had something that you and I don’t have much of. She had power. Lying there in that bed, unable to move, unable to see, unable to hear, unable to talk to anyone, she had incredible power.”
Here was an ordinary human being who received supernatural power to do extraordinary things. Her entire life consisted of following Jesus as best she could in her situation: patient endurance of suffering, solitude, prayer, meditation on Scripture, worship, fellowship when it was possible, giving when she had a flower or a piece of candy to offer.
Imagine being in her condition and saying, “I think about how good he’s been to me. He’s been awfully good to me in my life, you know. . . . I’m one of those kind who’s mostly satisfied.” This is the Twenty-third Psalm come to life: “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.”
For anyone who really saw Mabel—who was willing to “turn aside”—a hospital bed became a burning bush; a place where this ordinary and pain-filled world was visited by the presence of God. When others saw the life in that hospital bed, they wanted to take off their shoes. The lid was off the terrarium. Then the turn came, with a catch of the breath, and a beating of the heart, and tears. They were standing on holy ground.
Do you believe such a life is possible for an ordinary human being? Do you believe it is possible for you? This is promised in the gospel—the Good News proclaimed by Jesus: “The kingdom of God has come near; repent, and believe in the good news.” The good news as Jesus preached it is that now it is possible for ordinary men and women to live in the presence and under the power of God. The good news as Jesus preached it is not about the minimal entrance requirements for getting into heaven when you die. It is about the glorious redemption of human life—your life.
11.13.2007
11.09.2007
Think of Me
For those of you who have heard Taylor Swift's Tim McGraw...Well then this will sound familiar. I rewrote the words to it to go with my summer, so yeah anyways...
When you think Nickelback, I hope you think my favorite song, the one we listened to while we’d drive along, with the wind blowing through my hair. When you think happiness I hope think my blue summer dress. Think of my hand brushing yours during those late summer nights. And when you think of iced black tea, I hope you think of me.
November saw a month of tears and praying you’d get out of my head, cause it can’t be like this. But in a frame up on my wall is a picture that you never saw from that night long ago. It’s hard not to find it all a little bittersweet and looking back on all of that it’s nice to believe…
When you think Nickelback, I hope you think my favorite song, the one we listened to while we’d drive along, with the wind blowing through my hair. When you think happiness I hope you think my blue summer dress. Think of my hand touching yours during those late summer nights. And when you think of iced black tea, I hope you think of me.
Now I sit here all alone with you still in my head. Thinking of that summer that never should have been, cause when…
You think Nickelback I hope you think my favorite song, the one we listened to while we’d drive along, with the wind blowing through my hair. When you happiness I hope you think my blue summer dress. Think of my hand brushing yours during those late summer nights. And when you think of iced black tea, I hope you think of me.
Think of Me
Rewritten by: Rachel Young
(Originally Tim McGraw By:Taylor Swift)
You said the way my blonde hair shone put the summer sun to shame that day…I said that’s not true.
Just a guy with a Ford pick-up and a look that would make me smile every time you’d pull up. And I was right there beside you all summer long, and then there came a time when we woke up to find that summer gone…
Just a guy with a Ford pick-up and a look that would make me smile every time you’d pull up. And I was right there beside you all summer long, and then there came a time when we woke up to find that summer gone…
When you think Nickelback, I hope you think my favorite song, the one we listened to while we’d drive along, with the wind blowing through my hair. When you think happiness I hope think my blue summer dress. Think of my hand brushing yours during those late summer nights. And when you think of iced black tea, I hope you think of me.
November saw a month of tears and praying you’d get out of my head, cause it can’t be like this. But in a frame up on my wall is a picture that you never saw from that night long ago. It’s hard not to find it all a little bittersweet and looking back on all of that it’s nice to believe…
When you think Nickelback, I hope you think my favorite song, the one we listened to while we’d drive along, with the wind blowing through my hair. When you think happiness I hope you think my blue summer dress. Think of my hand touching yours during those late summer nights. And when you think of iced black tea, I hope you think of me.
Now I sit here all alone with you still in my head. Thinking of that summer that never should have been, cause when…
You think Nickelback I hope you think my favorite song, the one we listened to while we’d drive along, with the wind blowing through my hair. When you happiness I hope you think my blue summer dress. Think of my hand brushing yours during those late summer nights. And when you think of iced black tea, I hope you think of me.
Oh think of me…
You said the way my blonde hair shone put that summer sun to shame that day…I said that’s not true.
You said the way my blonde hair shone put that summer sun to shame that day…I said that’s not true.
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