Isn’t it amazing how God works!?! First I didn’t want to get married and God worked on my heart in that situation, now that I have that desire to have a family, right now, there is no road leading that way as of now. I have been thinking a lot about being in a relationship and observing others around me and my friends, I can see, and do realize how much work it takes! There is so much one has to put into a relationship! But I do desire to someday have one and in that relationship be glorifying God.
Also, I realize that this is not something I should be focusing on…God has been teaching me some amazing things and I need to focus more on Him and loving Him. So, I can truly say that I am glad not to be in a relationship, right now, because I think it might get in the way of what God has to teach me. It is not easy though…seeing my friends and other seem happy with their significant other is hard and sometimes I feel a loneliness that sometimes God can’t fill….but that’s another thing I need to learn. I shouldn’t need a guy to complete me and fill that loneliness and I need to have my Father do this before I can meet someone.
Maybe that is why God hasn’t brought anyone into my life for so long…sure I’ve had two “relationships” that didn’t work out, but I learned so much from the few months each of those existed. And was so thankful to Jesus for guarding my heart and I only needed to get those guys out of my head…my heart is still whole and waiting to fully be given to the one God has for me.
In conclusion, I am, I can say right now, fully content. It isn’t like this every day, but I realize that it is okay. I don’t know how long it will be until I do marry, but I glad to live for God’s glory where ever He has me.