Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

5.27.2008

Fading Feelings

Whisper in the night
Smile at the morning
All a glow and strong
The thoughts I had of you

A passing year gone
The sky is overcast
My once joyful song
Became a silent sigh

I see who you really are
A player of my heart
You become a lost memory
As my feelings fade away

Whisper in the night
Smile at the morning
The fog disappears
Clear skies meet my face

4.01.2008

Well, today I did my ride time in the ambulance for the second time...I need to get five patients contacts and after today I need one more!
I have to say that the one that meant the most to me, or really has been stuck in my mind I should say, is the one today where we had to transport a cancer patient from the assistant living to the clinic for treatment. The reason she needs an ambulance is because it is extremely painful for her to sit up.
She has lung cancer and something else was wrong with her sacrum(there was a crack in it or something). Well anyways, she got lung cancer from second hand smoke(her husband and kids).
On the ride to the hospital she held me hand; it was nice for me to be able to be there for her.It was really good talking with her will we waited to get in for treatment. She and her husband have been married for 62 years and still very much in love(he came along with us). She talked about her grandkids and her great-grandkids who are my age!!!
Oh, and she likes John Wayne, which is suhweet! And we talked about some of his movies. She liked Cowboys which I haven't seen, but apparently he dies in it! :( We both like the Quiet Man!
After we took her back to her room she said good-bye to all of us and even remembered my name!
It was just a meanful experience for me along the rest of the people I was able to help today! ;)

3.21.2008

LOVE SONG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR5xv3pt7KI&feature=user

"Love Song"
Sara Bareillies

Head under water
And they tell me to breathe easy for a while
The breathing gets harder, even I know that
You made room for me but it's too soon to see
If I'm happy in your hands

I'm unusually hard to hold on to
Blank stares at blank pages
No easy way to say this
You mean well, but you make this hard on me
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's
Make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

I learned the hard way
That they all say things you want to hear
And my heavy heart sinks deep down under you and
Your twisted words,
Your help just hurts
You are not what I thought you were
Hello to high and dry
Convinced me to please you
Made me think that I need this too
I'm trying to let you hear me as I am

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's
Make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If all you have is leaving
I'm gonna need a better
Reason to write you a love song today

Promise me that you'll leave the light on
To help me see with daylight, my guide, gone
'cause I believe there's a way you can love me
Because I say
I won't write you a love song
'cause you asked for it
'cause you need one, you see
I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's make or break in this
Is that why you wanted a love song
'cause you asked for it'cause you need one, you see

I'm not gonna write you a love song
'cause you tell me it's make or break in this
If you're on your way
I'm not gonna write you to stay
If your heart is nowhere in it
I don't want it for a minute
Babe, I'll walk the seven seas when I believe that
There's a reason to
Write you a love song today

3.19.2008

God is so awesome!

I'm feeling the love of Him tonight! Don't know what else to say except that I'm a little troubled about how a few things in my life are playing out right now, but for some reason I am not too worried about it.
God is so amazing how He works! I went up to my room tonight almost crying, then a small act of kindness was thrown my way and made me much more joyful.
Okay, gotta go study for my final tomorrow!

2.24.2008

Jonathan is #1!!!!!

The birthday boy!





I love my football! OOOOOO!














HAHAHA! Funny face picture!













YUMMY!!!







Uh oh, someone grabbed the cake!





That's what I'm talking about!!!!





DUDE!!! I love cake!!!! I can't believe my little brother is already a year! My, how time flys! He isn't walking yet, but he will be soon! If you can't see he's already got two teethers!!! and the dang cutest biggest blue eyes!!!










2.23.2008

2.22.2008

I'm so tired. . .

Today I found out that my dad might be getting laid off from his job. It hurts my heart so much to see my dad who is working so hard told that he isn't working hard enough. I feel some resentment towards them because they don't even give him a reasonable amount of days to finish the reports in the first place. They just expect a person to be a machine and have everything perfect in so little amount of time!?!?! It is so frustrating! They even told him that he wasn't doing a good job earlier in the fall, that made him work even harder and harder and get more and more stressed out.
I can't even begin to put into words how much I love my dad and all the hard work he does in providing for this family. I know I probably can never fully grasp the big responsibility guys have in providing for their loved ones.
I don't know what to do. It is sometimes hard to be the encouraging daughter to someone who becomes down and stressed, especially since I look up to him so much. I long and desire to help and be that loving encouragement, but am not sure how.
I've prayed so hard for so long and will continue doing so. I don't understand why this is happening again for the third time since we are living here, but I trust that God has something to teach us.
It hurts to see him so discouraged sometimes though, and I'm not really sure how to say anything.
One other thing happened today, it hurt my heart extremely and I cried, but God is so amazing...He lead me and showed me what to do, and it has been encouraging for me to know He will lead my family in this time of uncertainty.
Goodnight.

2.20.2008

an older song

So I need to start getting into the habit of posting again, until then her's an older thing I pulled out. I was looking through some of my songs and found this one which I wrote about two years ago. . .thought I'd share it.


SunRise
This night is very cold and dark,
The stars seems so far off,
I always thought I would be okay,
But memories woun't go away,
So I break the silence with a sob,
And pray to God to take this from me.

He reasures me with his peace and directs me to wait on Him,
He tells me that although it's dark the sun will rise again. . .

I will look for the sunrise to break throught the dark,
And count the stars as they fade away,
My life has never seemed so like the sky before,
So I will look for the sunrise, I'll watch for the dawn.

The storms in my life have never seemed so painful,
The thunder and the lighting,
My trials and temptations,
My mind is cloudy my life seems gray,
I pray to God to take this from me.

The distressing thoughts keep coming back more then the stars it seems.
God cheers me up saying this will pass,
The sun will rise again. . .

2.19.2008

How many dark souls are wandering aimlessly from day to day. . .

I'm surrounded by many people, so many that are lost from God's love. What can I do to shine His light into their lives? I pray the Lord convicts me! I am a mere sinful person, so short from becoming holy and pure in Jesus' eyes! May He forgive me of my fallings in life! I cannot even began to comprehend this life! Not even come close! There is so much or so little ahead of me! Alot of time or little time that is growing lesser by the hour! I do not know! Where am I going? Do I truly know? I need my precious Lord! May He be in my life and my head and my heart! I don't want to be forsaken! I don't want to turn away from Him! I have found the light of His unending love! But there is so many who haven't. How many dark souls are wandering aimlessly from day to day without the love of God in their hearts? Allow me to be a light my Jesus! This world is so unexpressiably evil! I see it more and more daily! How can I survive? May my life be Jesus! More and more I shall seek Him! I will spend each day with the love of my life. . .so even in hard times I will remain with Him. . .even when times come when He seems far away I will know the depth of His love for me! For He is the reason I am here! I long for the day when I can bring my Jesus joy daily by the hour, the second, in total and complete glorifying of Him, my Creator. . .may I even reach this point? It seems far off considering my lack of time and thoughts focusing upon Him! I do fall short, but am striving to please my Lord! May He take my dirty, blackened life. . .for only Jesus can purify and cleanse me! I humbly plea for the Spirit's discernment and conviction. May I began to see people the way God does, with total love and by the person they are from the inside.