Book Review: Rebellious Heart

Rebellious Heart by Jody Hedlund

I received free copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers as part of their book review program in exchange for an honest review in my opinion.

I absolutely love historical fiction and this is a good book for you if you like romance with some history and danger thrown in. It is set at the time of the Revolutionary War. I lost myself in this book, the details and story line caught me up all the way to the end and I was sad when I finished it just because I wanted to keep reading the story!
It is about a girl, Susanna who has everything she wants, except for a higher education for in that day women didn't receive that. They were expected to learn all the good graces of raising a family and running a home. Susanna does all she can so learn more and is determined to marry well so she can help the poor.
Ben is farmer's son. He became lawyer, but can't escape the fact of his poor upbringing. Through his profession he desires to help the poor as well and when he meets Susanna he is captivated by her, but know she intends to marry much higher above his pay grade.
You will have to read to find out how this plays out!

Book Review: An Elegant Solution

An Elegant Solution by Paul Robertson

I received free copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers as part of their book review program in exchange for an honest review in my opinion. I was intrigued to read this book after reading what it was about, I have always enjoyed mysteries. It might just be me, but I just couldn't get into the story. I only read the first few chapters and didn't finish it. Seemed to move along slowly and in much detail. I'm sure other people  may enjoy reading it, it just wasn't for me.

Book Review: Blessings for the Evening

Blessings for the Evening: Finding Peace in God's Presence
By Susie Larson

I love this book! Each devotional is a simple yet calming read before bed. I love how it includes Scripture with each reading. The encouraging and peaceful words are perfect to read after a long day. Each page has a new and beautiful colorful picture! My husband and I have made it routine to read one every evening and I am looking forward to using this book with my kids each night when tucking them in bed. Also would be a wonderful book to give as a gift! I received free copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers as part of their book review program in exchange for my honest review in my opinion.

Book Review: To Honor and Trust

To Honor and Trust
Bridal Veil Island
By: Tracie Peterson and Judith Miller

This was the third book of the Bridal Veil Island series. I haven't read the first 2. I received this free copy from Bethany House to review. I really liked this story and finished the book in a few days. I never found it dull, maybe a tad predictable like most romance novels, but I still really enjoyed reading it! I liked what period it was written in and really felt like I was back in 1913. I could really relate with the main character and her heart break and learning to trust a man again. How both main characters were very unsure about their futures, but consistently trusted in God and sought Him out in prayer with a desire to do what He wanted. In the end their futures were joined, two paths became one, and they were off to Africa to serve. It was and encouraging book and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it!

ten dollars

How much does $10 dollars mean to you?
A few months ago I signed up to receive a glam bag once a month for $10 a month. Glam Bags apparently are all the rage now and there are several options and sites to sign up on. I opted for one that I could cancel anytime. Basically what it is are beauty product samples that are sent in a little makeup bag. It can range from mascara to nail polish. It was really fun to receive it every month and you never knew what you would get, but you got at least 5+ things each time! I recently started cutting back my spending and cancel my subscription.
Then I was checking out a friends facebook page and for their birthday they wanted a $10 donation to an orphanage in Kenya instead of people giving her a gift. There was an option to do it monthly. I have been supporting an orphan in Togo since last year so I didn't select the monthly donation at this time, but it made me stop and think. I was paying $10 a month for several months for this silly little glam bag, which I don't NEED I just WANTED and the products I don't use as much. And here was an orphanage that could make my $10 go alot farther for the furthering of God's Kingdom...ALOT farther than makeup.
I've been reading Managing God's Money by Randy Alcorn. The person marrying us is having Ryan and I read it. I highly recommend it! There is one part that talks about strategic lifestyle and a simple one. IF you are living a strategic lifestyle then what you invest your money in will be used for Kingdom purposes. It is all about perspective...! This website might help you see that. It is quite eye-opening to see where you land on the scale. I'm in the top 11% percent  of the richest people in the world! And even if I only made $1500 I would still be richer than 75% of the world!
After spending almost 2 weeks in Togo I started realizing how much I really have! Right now planning and spending money on a wedding sometimes seems a bit ridiculous to me when I saw how little money there could go so far! I could help a family with a goat and a bible (a goat to help their lifestyle and a bible for their souls) for just $35. If I took all the money from this wedding and put it towards that it would help over 170 families in Togo. I'm not trying to be ridiculous here....I want a nice wedding and it's a once in a lifetime thing...but this has still crossed my mind.
Another part in the book I enjoyed was about what you leave behind, your legacy. Why save up bucket loads of money when I can use it for God's Kingdom now! Some parts in this book are quite radical, but it this part makes sense to me. He also does address the need to enjoy vacations and little comforts for the renewing and refreshing of our mental, physical, and emotional health. So it's not like he is saying to leave everything and "follow" Christ, but there is a part about that I really like to, which I won't go into right now.
"What may strike us as radical, when compared to those around us, even in our Christian culture, seems not to be radical at all when compared to the teaching of the Scripture."

First Book Review

I received a free copy of this book from Bethany House to review! This is my first time writing a book review and I'm so excited to have this opportunity! This book is non-fiction.

Real Life, Real Miracles: True Stories That Help You Believe
By: James L. Garlow and Keith Wall


This book is inspiring! I received a free copy from Bethany House to review it. I started reading it right away and couldn't put it down. It went in spurts though. When I would pick up to read I would read several at a time, but it wasn't always the first book I would want to pick up and read. Some of the stories get repetitive. For example, the medical stories of how certain illnesses are miraculously cured! It is always amazing to read that, but I felt that there could different subjects of miracles.
Otherwise, the stories are short and directly pointing at how miracles do still happen to this day! I felt overwhelming emotion reading some of the stories and they were so encouraging. They leave no doubt that God is at work in our lives and He is all-powerful and a loving God!

A Moment

The world is
happening
going on around me.
Here i sit and the only
thing that matters
right now
in this very moment
is You.
i go back once again
Jesus
to be lost in You
to fall in love with You.
Fall in love with You
more and more
every day
but i don't
i get lost in this
world of folly
caught up in the routine and activities of life.
You sit
wait
watch
until i remember You again.
To come back and sit with You
in this moment like i am now
where the only thing that matters
is You.
Can i not stay here forever?
But i don't
i stand up
walk away
swept away
with the flow of the busy crowd
leaving You
sitting
watching
waiting
until i come back and sit with You next time.
At least i think
You always sit there.
i could take You with me
to be next to me
to be aware
of Your closeness
but i don't.
You do go with me
You are still with me
aren't You.
i'm not always aware of it.
You are right by my side
all the time
holding onto me.
i return to sit with You
as if
You have been there the whole time
i'm unaware
You never left me
when I went back in the rotation of the world.
Jesus
may i always take You with me
in my words
actions
steps
in this life
i get lost in this world
may i still be found in You.
Right now
as this moment is drawing to an end
i must rise from where i sit
with complete contentment in You
feeling Your presence
with me
at this moment
i will take You with me.
The way You have loved me and love me
captivates
overwhelms me
i deepen my love in You.
My whole heart
belongs
to You
at this
moment.

How to Prepare for 2011

 This link was post by our pastor, thought it was pretty thought provoking and awesome!

  COMPLETING AND REMEMBERING 2010
Review the list of all completed projects:

What was your biggest triumph in 2010?
Beating Leavenworth and winning WVSSL Championships!

What was the smartest decision you made in 2010?
Breaking off an unhealthy relationship.

What one word best sums up and describes your 2010 experience?
forgiven.

What was the greatest lesson you learned in 2010?
Once again, who my true friends are.

What was the most loving service you performed in 2010?
Helping friends out (moving, wedding, etc.) offering my service in childcare at church.

What is your biggest piece of unfinished business in 2010?
Reliv.

What are you most happy about completing in 2010?
 Gearing up for Africa.

Who were the three people that had the greatest impact on your life in 2010?
Jenny Leigh, Courtney, and Ryan Jacob.

What was the biggest risk you took in 2010?
Giving my heart to someone who ripped it apart.

What was the biggest surprise in 2010?
The amount of my so-called "friends" who turned their backs on me.

What important relationship improved the most in 2010?
Jenny Leigh.

What compliment would you liked to have received in 2010?
You are a Godly Woman.

What compliment would you liked to have given in 2010?
You've always been there for me.

What else do you need to do or say to be complete with 2010?
God is faithful!


CREATING THE NEW YEAR

What would you like to be your biggest triumph in 2011?
Helping alot of people with great nutrition and income.

What advice would you like to give yourself in 2011?
I don't know what 2011 holds, but I know who holds 2011...God is in control!

What is the major effort you are planning to improve your financial results in 2011?
Set and write down goals for advancing my business!

What would you be most happy about completing in 2011?
 Nourishing our world.

What major indulgence are you willing to experience in 2011?
Backpacking trips!

What would you most like to change about yourself in 2011?
Be strong.

What are you looking forward to learning in 2011?
To be on mission with the Gospel daily. Applying the Gospel to every decision.

What do you think your biggest risk will be in 2011?
Investing in relationships.

What about your work, are you most committed to changing and improving in 2011?
Being a leader.

What is one as yet undeveloped talent you are willing to explore in 2011?
Backpacking in the mountains.

What brings you the most joy and how are you going to do or have more of that in 2011?
 Swing dancing! Find me a good partner bahaha ;)

Who or what, other than yourself, are you most committed to loving and serving in 2011?
Pouring out my love to disease-infected orphans in Africa and to the kids on swim team.

What one word would you like to have as your theme in 2011?
Joy!

Heart Matters - new song

My heart is still beating,
Though it's broken into pieces.
I thought you were leaving?
Leaving me with this hurt and this pain.

Why did you deceive me?
Desert me in confusion.
The loneliness consumes my very being.

Not all hope is gone;
I will stand watch.
Set my self on the rampart.
Watch to see what He will say to me...

I'm breaking you down over and over again.
When you think it stops you'll still find you in over your head,
But I have My hold on you,
Nothing can snatch you away.
And I'll always hold your heart, so still.

My beating heart has ceased,
In the stillness emptiness is peace.
The canyons of confusion disappear.
My first and only Love steps out,
From the catacombs of my heart once again.

My hope ignites again,
The waiting game is over.
The ramparts of my heart have found a home.

And You're breaking me down over and over again.
When I think it stops I find I'm still in over my head,
But You have Your hold on me,
Nothing can snatch me away.
And You hold my heart, so still.

Singing in the Shower

Yes, I was singing in the shower tonight, might not seem like a big deal...you're probably like "so what, I sing in the shower too!" Well after I say that I can't remember the last time I felt like singing in the shower or anytime for that matter. My joy is starting to creep back into my soul :)
And why? Yesterday a burden was lifted. A heavy burden pressing down on me almost everyday from people in my past that hurt me extremely. So I just didn't feel like singing for quite a long time, anytime. I came to a point in my life where I was praying God either show me what I have to do or just give me a peace in my heart about the situation. And He gave me a peace and joy.
I was just sitting outside at O'Grady's Pantry listening to the little waterfalls and gazing up at the glorious mountains basked in sunlight and colors of changing leaves and I knew that I didn't have to live under the burden anymore. He has given me a new song!
I remember when I was caring for my grandparents and I was singing in the kitchen and grandma asked me why I was singing and grandpa interrupted and said "she always has something to sing about" one of the treasured memories in my heart from South Dakota. And now, once again....I do!
Another burden lifted another step to gaining back my joy :) Praise God! Amen! :)

Pour out your heart and cry before Him

My soul, waits silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, And my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Psalm 62:5-8

The innermost part of me waits quietly for the Lord, suffering silently. He is my only hope! God only is my stronghold and my foundation. He has ahold of me, I can't be snatched away or moved! God the Sovereign is my fortress and strong tower for me. I hide in Him. I can't be strong alone. Every hope of my being is in Him! Can I trust Him at all times? Yes. I need to cry out to Jesus for saving, He is the only Hope I have! I can't latch onto anything else, because I will be disappointed.

Train - Words

Words they'll try to shake you
Don't let them break you
Or stop your world from turning
When words keep you from feeling good
Use them as firewood and let them burn


Like stones in your pocket people try to wear you down
Someone always wants to take the love you've found
So let's runs with these changes and I want you by my side
And there's not a word I've ever heard that would make me change my mind


Words they'll try to shake you
Don't let them break you
Or stop your world from turning
When words keep you from feeling good
Use them as firewood and let them burn


Underneath every word somebody's heart been broken
With or without words we try to forgive 

Hmm, I'd like to think of myself as a strong person. Nothing can easily shake me...but behind my stoic front I really take what people say to me or about me to heart. I care too much about what other people think about me. I let their words shake me and even break me. I let their words stop my world from turning to a point where I just can't wait to get through the day. Other times I put up a front and pretend that it doesn't effect me...then i sin by holding bitter grudges in my heart which in turn get me down as well. Do these people not realize that they hurt me with their words? Are they trying to inflict pain?
Flip that around and I am convicted to watch the words I say. Remember what the bible says about the tongue.
With or without words I try to forgive...that is what I desire. To forgive and move on and forget. The words won't burn away though. They stay in my head and are lodged in my heart. Jesus help me to move on and act accordingly. Give me words that glorify and honor You.

Complicated

Definition: difficult to analyze, understand, explain.
What is complicated? Life. Relationships. Faith. People. Me. 
Who isn't complicated? God.
He is faithful, unchangeable, constant, loving, trustworthy, Sovereign.

Divine Loveliness

Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.You return man to dust and say, "Return, O children of man! "For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night. You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning, in the morning it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers. For we are brought to an end by your anger; by your wrath we are dismayed. You have set our iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of your presence. For all our days pass away under your wrath; we bring our years to an end like a sigh. The years of our life are seventy, or even by reason of strength eighty; yet their span is but toil and trouble; they are soon gone, and we fly away. Who considers the power of your anger, and your wrath according to the fear of you? So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. Return, O LORD! How long? Have pity on your servants! Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days. Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!
Psalm 90

And the winners are...

CASHMERE SWIM TEAM 2010!!!!

 Cashmere won Wenatchee Valley Summer Swim League Championships
It was a successful, awesome year! I had a great season and looking forward to next year! :)

               My assistant coaches and me with the first place trophy :)

Why is it so hard to create meaningful friendships and sustain them?

This has definitely been the year of crappy friendships lol. 3 of meaningful friendships in my life have been toasted! Poof! Gone! Vanished! Extinguished! Should I keep going...? Or you get the idea :P
I am not bitter, more hurt than anything ya know? These people had been very special to me...I loved them. We hung out, had great conversations...and then it was like they didn't care anymore, they didn't give a damn. (is that too harsh?) I don't understand how someone can have a great friendship with another person...and...then...just...I don't know...not...
Anyways, it hasn't held me back. I keep seeking out other friendships...building those relationships. Opening myself up to get hurt. Every time you have a conversation with someone you are opening yourself up to get hurt. You trust that other person, you share your thoughts, dreams, you share your heart with them....give them a picture of what a kind of person you are.

Sickkkk :P

Well its 2AM and I'm awake...because I slept all day basically. I woke up early and had a pounding headache, nausea, and a 103 fever. Well I didn't coach or go work at Mary Lous. My fever broke this afternoon and after lots of painkillers, Reliv Energize, plus my shakes, and prayer:) I'm feeling better with a light headache still. I'm about to hit the hay. But anyways, I hate being sick. Last week of swim team! OMG it's gone so fast...Champs are on Saturday!

Cashmere vs. UVST

And we pulled off a win! Since the beginning of the swim team season I had been dreading/excited for this meet. I wanted to win so badly...just because of all the strive we dealt with Elizabeth at the pool last year...then UVST (aka Upper Valley Swim Team) didn't hire me back....and THEN she ended up coaching! I mean seriously! At the beginning of the meet all my swimmers from last year were like "why didn't you coach us?" traitor, why are you at Cashmere?" I probably explained over 20 times that Leavenworth didn't hire me back and Cashmere did. Some of the kids said they missed me. But I'm at Cashmere now and there is no going back! Depending on what happens when I get back from Africa I am definitely going to coach Cashmere again next summer :)
Anyways, we won quality score Cashmere 3.9 and UVST 3.2!!! And we got only 12 disqualifications! I'd say that is pretty good considering we got over 40 the first meet lol.
I was so so so happy when we won, God is good, all the time! All the time, God is good! :)

South Deeekooota in da Fall

Ahhh! I'm excited :) Got a one-way ticket to Minneapolis in October! Gonna spend a few days with my Grandma and aunt and uncle. Then on the 24th go and see Celtic Thunder with my kindred spirit JENNY!!! Woohoo! After I'll go back home with her to South Deeekoooota for a couple weeks and we'll do what best friends do! I'm stoked...yup yup!

heart healing

Can I now say my heart is healed? It is definitely on its way. It began last Saturday, God started working in my heart when I was reading Living The Cross Centered Life and the part I was reading was talking about feelings and how "we let our feeling tell us what's true, instead of letting the truth transform our feelings" and thinking over the pass 2 weeks I have let my feeling over heart hurt govern the way I go about my day, whether eating, not eating, sleeping, not sleeping I was letting the way I felt put me in a numb state where at one point I wasn't even caring about my physical health...then last Sunday Art Azurdia a visiting pastor form a church plant we are helping out in Portland came and gave this message.
(here is some of my notes)
Fix You Eyes Upon Jesus
Hebrews 12:1-3
Would I die for Jesus Christ? I would not die for Christ unless I live daily for Christ...a taking up of the cross daily. He gave 3 words...Listen, Divest, and Focus.
Focus. Focus. Focus...attention on Christ...looking to Jesus. He is the ultimate man of faith. I need to be relentlessly preoccupied with Jesus and nothing else (not other people, like guys :P) Jesus ran His race in perfect perfection against the greatest opposition. It's not about starting, it's about starting to finish the race.

1st Peter 1
³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, ⁵who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Just for a little while suffer grief in all kinds of trials...but what do we have to look forward to! A beautiful ending! One with our Savior..forever. In light of this knowledge how then can I live each day? Knowing my end! Knowing that there is more to life than just getting hurt and disappointed and hurt over and over. My heart can be healed and full of joy!